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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!sdcsvax!sdccsu3!ix900
From: ix900@sdccsu3.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Silly a- puns
Message-ID: <1020@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 3-Aug-83 14:34:20 EDT
Article-I.D.: sdccsu3.1020
Posted: Wed Aug  3 14:34:20 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 9-Aug-83 00:31:54 EDT
Sender: ix900@sdccsu3.UUCP
Organization: U.C. San Diego, Student System 3
Lines: 21


   I made these up.  No, I am not a professional comedian.

     The Vandals were just about to sack Barcelona.  [Sus[Dbstitute name of
favorite diw-[D[Dm-witted group if desired.]  "All right, you guys!" says their
commander.  "You guys are Vandals!  You're mean, you're nasty, you're
vicious!  Now once you get inside the gates of the city, I want each and
every one of you to run amuck!"
     The Vandals take off through the gates.  After a short time they all
reappear, looking very worried.  "Well, what's the matter!?" shouts the
commander.
     "Sir," says a sergeant, "Just how far is a muck, anyway?"


     An Israeli Navy boat was out on patrol.  Suddenly the lookout spots a
small yacht in territorial waters.  He's suspicious, so he gets out his
spyglass to see who it is.
     Suddenly he starts waving and shouting, "Agoy there! Agoy there!"
     The captain comes out and says, "Sailor, what's the matter with you?
Don't you know that's 'ahoy there'?"
     "No, sir, I'm sure it's a goy--an wait till you get a load of the
schiksa he's got with him!!"