Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site decvax.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!wla From: wla@decvax.UUCP (Bill Andrus) Newsgroups: net.jokes Subject: Re: Proposing net.zucchini Message-ID: <178@decvax.UUCP> Date: Tue, 23-Aug-83 17:05:11 EDT Article-I.D.: decvax.178 Posted: Tue Aug 23 17:05:11 1983 Date-Received: Wed, 24-Aug-83 10:58:46 EDT References: csu-cs.2371, <273@bunker.UUCP> Organization: DEC UNIX Engineering Group, Merrimack, NH Lines: 136 INTERNATIONAL ZUCCHINI FESTIVAL THE ZUKES ARE COMING! THE ZUKES ARE COMING! WHAT? THE ANNUAL INTERNATIONAL ZUCCHINI FESTIVAL, '83 EDITION WHERE? HARRISVILLE, NEW HAMPSHIRE WHEN? AUGUST 27, 1983, RAIN OR SHINE WHY? FOR FUN, OF COURSE, AND TO RAISE BIG BUCKS FOR THE HARRISVILLE SCHOOL WHO? YOU The festival will open at 10am with the traditional parade. Entrants in the Best Zucchini Flag event (first contest of the day) should display their yellow, green, and white flags in the parade and then bring them to Zucchini Central. All flags will become the property of The Zucchini Central Commitee and will be exhibited every year. The winning flag will be auctioned off. After the parade the games, contests, eating, drinking, and tomfoolery begin, and all continue throughout the day. Only the events which require advance preparation are listed in this leaflet. The reason tat there are non many guidelines is that there are not many guidelines. No one should feel limited to the specified categories, because the judges posess complete power to reward, punish, condemn, or expell entries or entrants for any reason. The judges are infallible, and there is no recourse whatsoever to appeal their judgements. Disgruntled contestants can, however, vent their feelings in Event #26 (Best zucchini song) or Event #27 (Best zucchini poem). If the agony remains unbearable, Dr. Zuke will again be in attendance at the Festival. AGRICULTURAL HALL CONTESTS Entries must be in place in Clark Hall, Harrisville, (over Raynor's Country Store) by 9:30am and must remain there until 4pm. Each entry costs 50 cents; $5.00 allows as many entires as you wish. Only zucchinis raised in 1983 may be exhibited. No discrimination by color, sex, or national origin will be allowed. Event #1 Rube Goldberg Memorial Award for Best Zucchini Chopper Event #2 Farthest travelled zucchini (Quality of documentation...8 points, condition of zucchini...2 points, use of Barbara Piscitelli in Australia as an intermediary...minus 4 points Event #3 Best peaceful use of zucchini Event #4 Best musical instrument made from zucchini Event #5 Longest zucchini Event #6 Roundest zucchini Event #7 Squarest zucchini Event #8 Heaviest zucchini Event #9 Best zucchini floral arrangement Event #10 Best zucchini carving Event #11 Five matched zucchinis Event #12 Best zucchini needlework (from afgans and applique through crewel, crochet, hooking, knitting, quilting, and tatting to zippered and zigzagged) Event #13 Best zucchini toy Event #14 Best zucchini bread Event #15 Best zucchini beer Event #16 Best zucchini wine Event #17 Best zucchini casserole Event #18 Best zucchini recipie (presentation will count; all recipies become the property of the Zucchini Central Committee) Event #19 Best zucchini painting Event #20 Best zucchini pottery Event #21 Best zucchini movie Event #22 Best still life with zucchini photograph Event #23 Best low life with zucchini photograph Event #24 Best zucchini action photograph Event #25 Best zucchini fashion design Event #26 Best zucchini song (submit a typed copy of the lyrics to be displayed at Agricultural Hall; then report to Zucchini Central to get a performance time) Event #27 Best zucchini poem Event #28 Best zucchini quote Event #29 Best zucchini essay Event #30 Biggest zucchini in a bottle Event #31 Most beautiful zucchini in a bottle Event #32 Zucchini which most perfectly fills its bottle Event #33 Most grotesque zucchini not related to James Watt Event #34 Nicest zucchini Event #35 Best Early-American zucchini Event #36 Best Un-American zucchini Event #37 Best off-color zucchini Event #38 Best educational use of zucchini Event #39 Best idea for next year's festival. All ideas become the property of the Zucchini Central Committee Event #40 GRAND CHAMPION..........BEST OF BREED The entry which best exemplifies the ideals of progress and productivity through zucchini or which most pleases the judges. CONTESTS TO BE HELD OUTSIDE (again, only those requiring advance preparation) -Best Zucchini Dance a.) individual b.) group -Zucchini Look-Alike Contest -Zucchini Skateboarding Championship (skill and attire of the skater plus decoration of the board -Best Motorized Zucchini -Best Zucchini Raft -Best Airborne Zucchini -Longest bicycle jump over zucchinis -Best Zucchini Juggler -Zucchini Marathon (2.6 miles carrying a giant zucchini provied by us in a baby carrier provided by you) -Selection of Ms. Zucchini and the Zuke of Earl (costume, talent, desire, charisma, serendipity, and SAT scores all may or may not play a part in the selection process). The Zucchini Central Committee is an equal opportunity employer and both of these positions are open to persons of either or neither sex. -Zucchni Fitting and Showing (condition, presentation, and appearance of the zucchini and of its exhibitor plus conduct of the exhibitor will be considered. FOR FURTHER INFORMATION CONTACT: The Zucchini Central Committee Too Bad Farm RFD Marlboro, NH 03455 (603) 827-3254 Please enclose a SASE and a small contribution to help defray our costs. Remember...this is a fundraising event for the Harrisville School. NO CUKES!!