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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!seismo!rlgvax!oz
From: oz@rlgvax.UUCP (THE GREAT AND POWERFUL OZ)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Bud and Lou
Message-ID: <1040@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 23-Aug-83 23:07:56 EDT
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.1040
Posted: Tue Aug 23 23:07:56 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 25-Aug-83 23:43:38 EDT
Organization: CCI, Capitol Region
Lines: 88

Continuing with our little trip down memory lane, we now come to Abbot and
Costello.  They were asked to be on the Kate Smith Radio show in the 1930's.
The agent who booked them did not have much faith in them, and they were
given a poor script.  Well that being the days of LIVE radio, Bud and Lou
threw down their scripts and did their classic WHO'S ON FIRST routine.  They
were an instant hit and went on to more radio fame, then movies and finally
television.  I was going to post the WHO'S ON FIRST routine, and if there is
enough interest I shall, be warned that it is 349 lines long!  Instead,
"submitted for your approval, a man is talking to his friend about a race horse
that is ill.  They first want to help the horse or buy a new one.  They
have a communication problem.  This could only happen in THE TWILIGHT ZONE"
(or an ABBOTT AND COSTELLO movie)

BUD:	You shoulnd't give the horse peppermint candy.  It's bad for his teeth.

LOU:	But he likes peppermint candy.

BUD:	You'll spoil his appetite.  Now he won't eat his fodder.

LOU:	Eat his fodder?

BUD:	Uh-huh.

LOU:	What do you thing Finnegan (the horse) is, a cannibal?

BUD:	No, the groom is going to hang his fodder on his nose.

LOU:	Ain't he going to look funny with his fodder on his nose?

BUD:	He eats his fodder every day.

LOU:	Finnegan eats his fodder every day?

BUD:	Well, sure.

LOU:	And what does his fodder eat?

BUD:	He eats his fodder.

LOU:	Oh, and what's his mother eat?

BUD:	Why she eats her fodder.

LOU:	It's getting worse all the time.

BUD:	Oh, what's the use of talking to you?  Now why don't you see what is
	wrong with the horse.

LOU:	O.K. (walks to the horses "rear" legs and takes his pulse)

BUD:	What are you doing?

LOU:	Takin' his pulse.

BUD:	Not there.  In the front.

LOU:	Oh, by his two front legs?

BUD:	No.  they're the horse's forelegs.

LOU:	Forelegs?  I said by his two front legs.

BUD:	Well, the horse's forelegs are in front.

LOU:	What's those things in the back, crutches?

BUD:	Well, I'm going to see what it costs to buy a new race horse.  These
	records tell you everything, like if a horse has an X in front of his
	name that shows he's a mudder.

LOU:	How can a he be a mudder?  Ain't a she always a mudder?

BUD:	No.  Sometimes a he is a better mudder than a she.

LOU:	A he makes a better mudder than a she?  How can you tell if a horse is
	a mudder?

BUD:	By looking at its feet.

LOU:	Ain't we livin' in a wonderful age?  Whoo!  Mudder -- Fodder --?


					Hey, Abbottttt!!!

					OZ
					seismo!rlgvax!oz