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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rlgvax!cvl!umcp-cs!dr_who
From: dr_who@umcp-cs.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.flame
Subject: friendship speeches
Message-ID: <2067@umcp-cs.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 22-Aug-83 12:25:04 EDT
Article-I.D.: umcp-cs.2067
Posted: Mon Aug 22 12:25:04 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 25-Aug-83 23:19:30 EDT
Organization: Univ. of Maryland, Computer Science Dept.
Lines: 24

You know what I'm sick and tired of hearing?  You wanna know what makes my
stomach turn?  A friendship speech!!!  Blech!  Gag me with a pitchfork!

I thought of explaining what a friendship speech is, but that shouldn't be
necessary!  Surely we've all heard one at one time or another!  (People
reading this in net.flame should be able to figure out what it is by the
fact that it's posted to net.singles.)  The friendship speech is almost a
tradition (mostly it's used by women, but then I don't date men so maybe I
have a biased viewpoint).

There was a great "Cathy" comic strip about a half year ago.  In the first
frame, Irving says to Cathy, "I care for you Cathy, but I'm just not ready
for a big commitment."  In the second frame, Cathy joins in in chorus, with
one arm and a forefinger raised as if saying something profound, "Maybe
someday ... but for now I need time to work out by myself who I am and what
I want."  In the third frame, even Cathy's mother joins in, knowing exactly
that Irving is going to say:  "I hope that we can still be friends, or at
least that you'll one day remember me with the fondness that I'll always
remember you."  In the final frame, Irving looks angry about their joining
in with the speech, and Cathy says, "the real classics are never forgotten."

Death to the classic of the friendship speech!

--Paul Torek, U of MD College Park