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From: jrrt@hogpd.UUCP (R.MITCHELL)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Honesty in Relationships
Message-ID: <146@hogpd.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 21-Sep-83 10:16:31 EDT
Article-I.D.: hogpd.146
Posted: Wed Sep 21 10:16:31 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 22-Sep-83 07:03:38 EDT
Lines: 24


   How honest am I willing to be in my relationships?  That's a function of
the relationship itself.
   I loosely categorize people into 3 groups.  There is no clearcut boundary
between the first two, but the third is very distinct.  My honesty with a
person depends on which category the person falls into.
   First come the "casual acquaintances", the vast majority of people.  I do
not have any significant personal or moral attachments to such people, so I
would lie/tell the truth as befits a given situation.  In general, I tell the
truth just because it's easier to keep track of what I've said in the past. 
Being human, and hence fallible, I've been known to lie out of spite to people
in this category. 
   The second group is composed of "friends."  I have some emotional attachment
to such people, and as such my ethical system says that I should in general be
honest with my friends.  I will tell little white lies to such people, if and
only if I believe the good feeling generated by the LWL outweighs the
dishonesty.  This is the best place for what LyndaF called "diplomacy."
   The third class is very small, my "Friends."  These 5 people have earned my
respect and love, and so I feel obligated to be truthful to them at all times. 
To be less than perfectly honest would indicate a lack of regard for the
relationship.  I have *never* lied to these people; I have refused to answer a
question if I felt the truthful answer would hurt the person more than s/he
would have gained from the knowledge.

                                   Rob Mitchell  hogpd!jrrt