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From: shebs@utah-cs.UUCP (Stanley Shebs)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Using Relationships as Vehicles for Growth - One More Time
Message-ID: <1928@utah-cs.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 22-Sep-83 17:46:25 EDT
Article-I.D.: utah-cs.1928
Posted: Thu Sep 22 17:46:25 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 23-Sep-83 22:10:45 EDT
References: pyuxvv.173
Lines: 20

OK, that makes more sense than the first time around.

I tend to be blunt in relationships (netnews readers are all surprised  :-) ),
which sometimes hurts the other person's feelings.  I usually follow with
lots of conciliatory stuff.  Strange?  Well, I find out what bothers
someone and what doesn't.  If he or she (I'm not just talking about
romantic relationships) takes offense and is not mollified by anything
I say later on, that's not the kind of person I want to deal with, and
the sooner they disapper the better.  Sometimes people are very good
at fooling themselves and one of the duties of a friend is to pop
dangerous delusions.  Not to say that diplomacy is bad, however, but
it just prolongs the moment and at least for me, makes me feel terribly
guilty until I get the truth out in the open.  The examples of total
honesty that someone gave show a progressive degeneration on both
sides.  The first sign of hostility from the other side is the signal
to cease and desist from bluntness, at least for the time being.
No need to hurt the other person twice in a row...

					stan the l.h.
					utah-cs!shebs