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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!rlgvax!tom
From: tom@rlgvax.UUCP (Tom Beres)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Dear net.abby
Message-ID: <1209@rlgvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 28-Sep-83 10:42:16 EDT
Article-I.D.: rlgvax.1209
Posted: Wed Sep 28 10:42:16 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 29-Sep-83 21:24:54 EDT
Organization: CCI Office Systems Group, Reston, VA
Lines: 26

My advice to the girl who's boyfriend apparently virtually ignored
her birthday is --

talk to him about it.

You already have some idea as to whether he did this because he is
(choose any of the following or a phrase of your own liking):  callous,
cruel, self-centered, uneasy showing affection, a space cadet, thinks
what he did was a great thing, totally absentminded, etc.  I am not
trying to pass judgement here.

However, this obviously has you bothered, (does he know that?) and its a
pretty safe bet that there was (still is) a breakdown in communications.
A hurt like that doesn't go away, and you may end up showing it indirectly.
All he'll know is that you are acting cold or bitchy or just plain
strange. GET IT OUT IN THE OPEN!  I have avoided making general conclusions
during the "Truth in Relationships" discussions, but openness is needed here.

The important thing in a relationship is not in avoiding incidents like
this (where one partner hurts the other) but in having the facilities
to resolve them when they do happen.  If you can talk to the guy and
successfully get through this, great, you are improving the relationship.
If you can't, the relationship has no future.

- Tom Beres
{seismo, allegra, mcnc, brl-bmd, we13}!rlgvax!tom