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From: kmw@iheds.UUCP (Kathy Wilber)
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Miss/Mrs/Ms
Message-ID: <268@iheds.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 23-Sep-83 13:48:06 EDT
Article-I.D.: iheds.268
Posted: Fri Sep 23 13:48:06 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 26-Sep-83 00:55:38 EDT
Organization: BTL Naperville, Il.
Lines: 41

References: <384@ihuxs.UUCP>

Of the titles Ms., Mrs., Miss, and Mr., all of which have been used to refer
to me, I much prefer Ms.  Given my choice, I prefer no title at all.
 
The original article asked if not disclosing marital status was intended
to be cold and impersonal.  No more so than not preceding your name by a
list of your hobies and political affiliations.  In fact, the latter practice
would give more "warm, personal" information than Mrs. or Miss.
How about following a format similar to the personal ads?:
 
GWMBkPkr J. D. Doe	(gay white male backpacker)
SBSci-Fi X. James	(straight black female science-fiction lover)
BiJR-RMEE P. Dunn	(bisexual Jewish right-wing Rebublican male
			 electrical engineer)
 
The point is, that sort of personal information is something you give
to people WHEN YOU WANT THEM TO KNOW IT.  Marital status is not relevent
to the vast majority of day to day interactions.  It doesn't matter to
your employer, your co-workers, your bank, the phone company, the
store or gas station reading your credit card, etc., etc.  Why announce
personal information?  And why, of all possible aspects of your personal
life, announce marital status?
 
By the way, one of the big reasons for the acceptance of "Ms." was
women's desire to avoid discrimination based on marital status.  Such
discrimination was legal not too long ago, and it continued even after it
became (in most cases) illegal.  (Case in point:  A woman I know, hired
several years ago, recounts her "welcome to the company" meeting with
her department head on her first day of work.  It was going fine until
he noticed her engagement ring.  He got angry, and demanded to know if she
had been wearing the ring during her interviews.  Implication: if the
interviewers knew she was soon going to be married, they shouldn't have
hired her.)
 
The same arguments apply to using any titles at all (Ms., Mr.).  If someone is
close enough to you that your sex becomes relevent, that person had better not
need to read your name to find out which sex you are!
 
 
		Kathy Wilber  (iheds!kmw)