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From: smb@achilles.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.women
Subject: Re: Changing names after marriage
Message-ID: <626@achilles.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 25-Sep-83 16:10:55 EDT
Article-I.D.: achilles.626
Posted: Sun Sep 25 16:10:55 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 29-Sep-83 02:33:45 EDT
References: <616@ihuxl.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 20

I did not change my name when I got married because I've been known by
my name for 30+ years, and I don't feel like changing it.  Frankly, it
would be a royal pain -- sending out address change notices when I move
is annoying enough.  (My wife agrees; when I asked her to give a reason
why she kept her own name, she replied that it was the path of least
resistance.)  There are other reasons as well.  Professionally, I've
been using "Bellovin" for 15 years or so; I don't propose to cancel
whatever reputation I have by making it hard for people to associate
the current me with the past me.  Finally, in a rather primitive sense
I regard my name as part of me, almost defining me; to change my name
would be to change my personna.  (This is a stronger reason for women
to refrain from adopting their husband's name than for a couple to
decline a hyphenated name:  it's one thing to "merge" ones' selves and
become a new unit (and kinda nice, in an overly romantic way); it's
quite another to surrender one's identity to another.)

So -- I will not, under any circumstances, change my name, whether to
someone else's name, to a hyphenated name, or to an invented name.  By
the same token, I will not ask anyone else to change their name on my
behalf.