Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site washu.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!drux3!ihnp4!mtplx1!washu!eric From: eric@washu.UUCP Newsgroups: net.flame Subject: Re: I've had it. Message-ID: <155@washu.UUCP> Date: Fri, 7-Oct-83 16:53:33 EDT Article-I.D.: washu.155 Posted: Fri Oct 7 16:53:33 1983 Date-Received: Sun, 9-Oct-83 21:12:15 EDT References: <369@seismo.UUCP> Organization: Washington U. CSL, St. Louis Lines: 75 Plant trips are (hopefully) one of the more pleasant parts about graduation from college. I was very fortunate and had a chance to drive in a number of cities. I am not an expert, but I certainly was objective at the time. I was raised in upstate NY and St. Louis MO, learning to drive in St. Louis. BOSTON: These people, as a general rule, are deft operators of automobiles and motorcycles. They have no consideration for anyone else on the road, however; the meek shall die in flames in the gutter. Drive down Storrow drive, head around Mt. Auburn or whatever by Fresh Pond and then try to get onto Route 2 and you sill understand just how dear you life is to you. Also, there are two sets of rules about which party has the right-of-way at traffic circle interfaces. The caravan rule -- if the first of 10 cars makes it thru the intersection then they all do -- is also something to contend with. The ideal car for Boston: The Boston Saab. Replace a Saab's bumpers with railroad ties; disconnect the brakes at the wheel, and then connect your horn to the brake lights. Also, beat the hell out of it so others will respect you. ST LOUIS: These people, as a general rule, are very concerned about the people around them ("Drive Defensively"). They are so worried, in fact, that they cause accidents. Most have poor control over their vehicles. They pick their collective nose quite a bit, too. Windows work both ways -- we can see you folks! Snow is not to be driven in, but played in. Playing with a car is okay, though. Stop signs are meaningless, stop lights attractive but ineffectual, and turn signals are not used (they might alert other drivers to your intentions, distracting them and causing an accident). The ideal car for St. Louis: Ferrari 208. This car will get you out of the city in a hurry, which is good. NYC: These people, as a general rule, are very concerned about no one. Other cars are simply obstacles, unless they are parked in which case they are potential income. They have amazing control over their automobiles and should not be allowed to drive outside of NYC to protect the meek. The ideal car for NYC: a used taxi-cab with all the fittings still intact. SAN FRANCISCO (Bay Area): These people, as a general rule, are asleep when they drive. Or drive in their sleep. They break down in the *middle* of highways only. They are concerned with most everything but not enough to let it affect their driving habits. Downtown is a completely different story -- take your Bowie Knife and don (sp?) your loin cloth, it is everone for thyself. The ideal car for SFBA: (deisel) VW Bunny. Choke the whales! TEXAS: Don't drive there. They drive to kill. The entrance ramps are like little particle accelerators. They don't care if they hit you because they can pay to have it all fixed. The ideal car for Texas: 1984 Coupe De Crap. Get all the extra's or you won't meet anyone in the bars. FLORIDA: These people are all from NYC and surrounding area anyway. The ideal car for Florida: none. Stay on the beach. TORONTO: Like, a city of many contrasts, eh? This town is still small enough to have people which drive normally (for Ontarians). Don't mess with these people on the NY Thruway, though. The ideal car for Toronto: International Scout. So there, and your little dog, too. And I'll take St. Louis weather over Boston any day. It is hot in the winter and cold in the summer and beautiful the rest of the year and the streets are wide enough to park on and even drive on and you don't have to worry about someone of questionable parentage pushing you car out into the middle of Harvard Square so that they can park where you were and... and... and... eric *