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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!vortex!lauren
From: lauren@vortex.UUCP (Lauren Weinstein)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: Boston Driving Returns!
Message-ID: <168@vortex.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 19-Oct-83 16:22:43 EDT
Article-I.D.: vortex.168
Posted: Wed Oct 19 16:22:43 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 21-Oct-83 06:56:43 EDT
Organization: Vortex Technology, Los Angeles
Lines: 70

Gee, we're back to Boston driving again!  Oh boy!  I get to tell
one of my favorite stories...

I was visiting at the MIT AI Lab, and knew that I had to get my
rental car back to Logan the next morning.  I had absolutely no idea
of how to get back.  I asked the small group with me at the Lab
(all of whom were "permanent" residents of the area) what the easiest
route back to Logan would be from my hotel downtown.  One person
immediately spoke up and supplied me with the instructions.  Before
I had a chance to write them down, another person in the room said,
"What ARE you talking about?  THAT won't work!"... and gave me 
a different route.  A third person joined in, "No! No!  Go THIS way..."

Great.  These were all people who LIVED there.  Needless to say, the
next morning, I got totally lost and ended up in the red light 
district.  I just LOVE those one-way streets.  There were times when
I was within ONE BLOCK of a point I needed to reach, but of course
the streets were always pointing the wrong way.  I could have sworn
that there were points where all of the streets pointed IN to the center
and where there was no way out ... it almost seemed that way!  Too bad
nobody ever thought of putting arrows on the maps for the one-way streets.
Of course, if I had been a true Boston driver, I guess I would have
ignored the one-way signs and just driven the wrong way on the road.
Of course, that might not have worked, since most streets were totally
blocked with trucks that (presumably) were loading/unloading.

Anyway, I finally made it to Logan, but only after talking to a cop
and a fellow at a gas station.  I knew I was getting close when I reached
the massive traffic jam at the Callahan tunnel.  For those of you who
haven't seen it, it is the primary route into and out of the airport,
and (seemingly) takes about 20 lanes and funnels them down to 
something like 2 in each direction.  I've seen some AMAZING goings-on around
the entrance to that tunnel.  Did I mention that it's a TOLL TUNNEL?
Yeah, they collected tolls at a toll booth on the airport side.

In all fairness, the last time I was at Logan, I noticed that they
were no longer collecting tolls for incoming traffic.  GOOD MOVE!

Still, as a native of L.A., I think that Boston could go much farther to
improve the traffic situation:

1) Knock down all of those silly old brick buildings and widen all
   of the roads.  Straighten them out while you're at it.  Don't
   give me the story about how they follow the old cattle trails
   or whatever they were -- I've heard that one already!

2) Cut roads through the center of those death trap "rotaries"
   and install some traffic lights.

3) When putting up highway intersection direction signs, try to design
   them so that the various arrows differ in the direction that they're
   pointing by more than 2 degrees.  I remember intersections where
   about 5 different streets met, and it was almost impossible from the 
   signs to determine which arrow pointed where!

4) Get rid of that sorta dirty-white stuff that clogs up the streets
   every winter.  While you're at it, turn up the outside temperature
   during the winter as well.
   
5) Congratulations on passing a law allowing right-hand turns on
   red lights, unless the intersection is specifically posted against 
   such turns.  However, the law might have more of an effect if
   99.9% of the intersections in and around Boston were NOT so posted!
   Please take down most of those signs, immediately.

I'll be back to Boston fairly soon, so I'll be checking up to see
how many of the above suggestions have been followed.  I'll report
back to this newsgroup.  Thanks much.

--Lauren--