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From: notes@zeppo.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: A Gift From Santa - (nf)
Message-ID: <738@zeppo.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 17-Oct-83 23:05:05 EDT
Article-I.D.: zeppo.738
Posted: Mon Oct 17 23:05:05 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 18-Oct-83 02:51:26 EDT
Sender: notes@zeppo.UUCP
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Whippany
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#N:zeppo:8200006:000:986
zeppo!scouts    Dec 20 21:25:00 1982

Dear ____________,
I have been watching you closely to see if you have been good
this year; and since you have, I will be telling my elves to make
some goddies for me to leave under your tree on Christmas.
I was going to bring you all the gifts from the twelve days of
Christmas, but we had a little problem up here. The twelve fiddlers
fiddling have all come down with V.D. from fiddling with the ten
ladies dancing, the eleven lords-a-leaping have knocked up the
eight maids-a-milking, and the nine pipers piping have been
arrested for doing weird things to the seven swans-a-swimming and
the six geese-a-laying. The four calling birds, three French hens, two
turtle doves, and the partridge in the pear tree have me
up to my ass in birdshit. On top of this, Mrs. Claus is going
through menopause, eight of my reindeer are in heat, the
elves have joined gay liberation, and those dumb ass Polacks
have scheduled Christmas for the fifth of February.

						Sincerely,

						   SANTA