Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!anderson
From: anderson@ittvax.UUCP (Scott Anderson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re:  Judy McMullan's forthrightness
Message-ID: <1077@ittvax.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 1-Nov-83 11:36:26 EST
Article-I.D.: ittvax.1077
Posted: Tue Nov  1 11:36:26 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 4-Nov-83 01:10:17 EST
Lines: 34

Actually, she referred to this quality not as "forthrightness" but as
"lack of coyness."  I prefer the former term.

>       >What about it women of netland?  Do you like to take
>       >the [sexual] initiative or should the man?  Or should both?
>
>   I have been the one to suggest intimaticies in several relationships.
>   Most of the time the fellow is thinking the same thing and everything was
>   wonderful! Personally, I don't care who takes the initiative.
>       --Judy McMullan

The initial inquiry was to the women, but I have to cheer for Judy's
reply.  The guy may just be a bit shy or lacking in self-confidence.
Personally, I have the self-confidence of an extra-terrestrial:  I just
don't understand these subtle signals that go from one human to
another.  Consequently, the few times that a woman has stuck her neck
out for me (yes, it's a risk:  what if I hadn't been thinking the same
way?  Then her ego gets hurt, just as if the genders were reversed), I
have been very glad, and the results were really wonderful.  And I never
thought that she had stepped out of "her" role into "mine."

In fact, let me make another observation, based solely on conversations
with one woman I know.  (Hence, this could be an anomalous case.)  She
does not initiate intimacies; she's just too old-fashioned.  She
complains that many of the guys she gets involved with have very big
egos.  I'd bet that a guy who will make ALL the first moves (as any guy
she gets involved with must) will naturally have a big ego.  And then
she doesn't like him.  Catch-22.

Comments encouraged,

Scott D. Anderson
decvax!ittvax!anderson OR
yale-comix!ittvax!anderson