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Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!harpo!floyd!vax135!ariel!houti!hogpc!houxm!houxl!msg
From: msg@houxl.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re:An honest request for information
Message-ID: <134@houxl.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 2-Nov-83 16:56:28 EST
Article-I.D.: houxl.134
Posted: Wed Nov  2 16:56:28 1983
Date-Received: Sun, 6-Nov-83 07:11:13 EST
References: <2226@yale-com.UUCP>
Organization: Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 65

Dear Mary-Ann & other net.single avid readers,

Being patient does not necessarily insure 
that a lady friend will ask you out.

I have read your article and simply cannot resist giving you a case example
in which I had an ol' fashion "crush" on a young lady while attending
Michigan University (let's hear it for the ol' Blue M). Now, I realize you
can ALWAYS claim that its easy to find acceptions to the general rule
but... the case example follows.

While attending U of M, I met a very quiet, shy, very attractive young lady
at a party. After talking to her for a while, we found out we were actually
neighbors in the same apartment building in Ann Arbor (that's how shy she
was... if I had never made the effort to talk to her, I might have graduated
without ever knowing she lived right next door to me!).

Never the less, she was fun to talk to and do stuff with once she felt
comfortable being with me... I'm not a very 
aggressive guy, that's not my nature. Anyway,
our friendship grew without the issue of whether or 
not we'd ever "go out" as boyfriend/girlfriend ever comming up...

By the end of school (1 year later) we had become the best of friends...
perhaps too good! We understood one another and accepted one another better
than any other woman I've ever known; and she admitted she felt the same
way about me several times.

The real clincher was this: when I FINALLY asked her if she'd like to 
go out she became totally cold to the idea claiming that she was afraid
that she'd lose me as a friend if the relationship didn't work out. I might
add that she had been involved in 3 or so relationships previously that
ended in disaster (I'm not sure whose fault it was - maybe it was a
combination of both people, or the exact cause of the
break-ups in all cases.) I do know that SLOW is the way she wanted her
relationships to go and all three guys wanted the relationships to get 
too serious, too fast.(That was HER reason as to why the relationships
never lasted.) Never the less, here was little ol' me, patient as could be,
the greatest of friends, waiting for her to realize that we'd probably make
a pretty durable pair (knowing each other's querks, etc..) but she never
took the initiative.

My point is this: I feel that some women have this notion that
relationships themselves are bad (not to mention feeling uneasy about sex)! 
This woman was so convinced that a relationship between me and her would 
permanently damage our friendship that she was unwilling to take 
a chance. How do you deal with someone who feels
this way? (Perhaps it was never meant to be?)

Incidently, we keep in touch with each other regularly. We're still the
closest of friends.  Unfortunately, we do not live close to one another 
anymore - she's attends law school in Atanta, Ga. & I work and live 
in good ol' N.J.

			Signed,

			Confused 
P.S. 
   Life goes on... By the way, I'm not seriously seeing anyone at this time so,
   if there are any young ladies out there who might be interested in meeting
   someone new drop me a line or send me mail! 

   marshall
   houxl!msg
   (201) 949-1785