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From: dollas@uiuccsb.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Airplane (clean, ethnic stereotypes) - (nf)
Message-ID: <3970@uiucdcs.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 20-Nov-83 15:41:15 EST
Article-I.D.: uiucdcs.3970
Posted: Sun Nov 20 15:41:15 1983
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Nov-83 02:33:30 EST
Lines: 79

#N:uiuccsb:8700039:000:2793
uiuccsb!dollas    Nov 17 15:06:00 1983

   During a plane flight, two out of the three engines of the airplane flame
out, and the pilot desperately needs to lighten the airplane. After all the
cargo is dropped, he tries to convince the passengers to jump out. Unfortunately
there are no parachutes, so whoever jumps is sure to get killed. There are
four passengers: an Englishman, a Frenchman, a German and a Greek. First the
pilot adresses the Englishman:
P: "Could you please jump out of the airplane so the rest of us will be able
to make it?"
E: "I'd say old boy you're out of your head!!!"
P: "Won't you you do it for your country?..."
E: "Certainly not"
P: "Or for your family?..."
E: "No"
P: "Or for your Queen?..."
(The Englishman proudly stands up)
E: "For the Queen!!!" he says, and jumps out  

   In a few minutes, the pilot goes back and desperately tries to convince the
Frenchman to jump out.
P: "We do need to have less weight in the airplane, would you sacrifice
   yourself to save us?"
F: "Jamais"
P: "You won't even do it for your country?"
F: "No"
P: "Not even for your wife and family?..."
F: "No"
P: "...or for your mistress?..."
F: "Ah, Lisetta"      
   he says and jumps out

(Author's note: we're half way done hang on to your screen and don't smoke)

   In a few more minutes the pilot comes out again. He knows that the 
situation is desperate, so he tries to convince both the German and the
Greek to jump out, so he can save (if he does) his own ...bacon.
   Pilot to German:
P: "Please jump out..."
G: "Nein"
P: "...for your country..."
G: "Nein"
P: "...for your family..."
G: "Nein"
P: "Jump out, this is an order!"
   The German stands still for a minute and then without saying anything
he jumps out.

   Now it is the Greeks turn (as a courtesy to the readers I have translated
the Greek part, it IS funnier in Greek however)
P: "Will you jump out?"
Gr:  "No way"
P:   "...for your country?"
Gr:  "No way"
P:   "For your wife and family?"
Gr:  "No"
P:   "For your culture?"
Gr:  "Listen, I am not jumping, don't waste your time"
P:   "OK then don't jump"
Gr:  "Listen buddy, you're not going to tell me what to do..."
    and he jumps out.


   End of the joke, beginning of comments:
   This joke has a lot of cultural stereotypes. Being Greek I think that the
Greek stereotype is not only funny, but well put (I guess the Greek readers
will agree with me). Now, all of you Germans,Frenchmen, Englishmen, pilots,
malfunctioning engines and parachutes, please direct your flames to:

             ..!pur-ee!uiucdcs!uiuccsb!dollas         

   and save the rest of the readers the time to send more flames about your
flames...

                                    Apostolos Dollas
                                Dept. of Computer Science
                                University  of  Illinois