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Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site sdccs6.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdccs6!ix192
From: ix192@sdccs6.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Stately insults
Message-ID: <1216@sdccs6.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 25-Nov-83 18:45:51 EST
Article-I.D.: sdccs6.1216
Posted: Fri Nov 25 18:45:51 1983
Date-Received: Sun, 27-Nov-83 03:11:22 EST
Organization: Hacker's Haven, U.C. San Diego
Lines: 45


	A couple of weeks ago Carson did some state-rivaltry insults that
he got from somewhere.  I wrote the best ones down (the ones I heard after I
got the pen & paper) and now I can finally relay all these to you.  I've been 
meaning to do this for a while, but I never really got around to it until now.
I didn't write down the states Carson used, so I just filled them in, using 
biasing only on the ones I couldn't spell.

	Q:  What's the leading cause of heart failure in Nevada?
	A:  Mirrors.

	Q:  Why are the women in Califonia like turtles?
	A:  Because they're slow, wrinkled, and can't get off their backs.

	Q:  Why is Koolade never drunk in Colorado?
	A:  Because they can't figure how to get two quarts into the envelope.

	Q:  Why is there only astroturf in all the football stadiums
		in Massachusettes?
	A:  So the cheerleaders don't graze after the games.

	Q:  Why doesn't Michigan have a water-skiing team?
	A:  Because they can't find a lake with enough slope.

	Q:  In New York, what stays on for eight months, changes color,
		and comes off in October?
	A:  Underwear.

	Q:  Why do people in Kansas wear socks to bed?
	A:  Because pigs have cold snouts.

	Q:  In Texas, what's the hardest thing for the groom to do?
	A:  Slip the ring over the hoof.


	So there you have it!  Next time someone from out of state says 
something about your area, you'll have something to come back with.


							______
	   Another bomb from 			       <|Kenf|>
	      the keys of 				\||||/
	 						  ||
	       The Kenf 				  ||
	...!sdcsvax!sdccs6!ix192		---ME------------YOU--