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From: jgpo@iwu1c.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Final Exam
Message-ID: <176@iwu1c.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-Nov-83 14:58:30 EST
Article-I.D.: iwu1c.176
Posted: Wed Nov 30 14:58:30 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 2-Dec-83 00:23:53 EST
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, Il
Lines: 66

a

Here's an oldie-but-goodie...


			COMPREHENSIVE EXAM

+ INSTRUCTIONS:  Read each question carefully.  Answer all questions.
  Time limit: 4 hours.

+ HISTORY:  Describe the history of the papacy from its origins to
  the present day, concentrating especially, but not exclusively, on
  its social, political, economic, and philosophical impact on
  Europe, Asia, America, Africa, and the Antarctic.  Be brief, concise,
  specific.

+ MEDICINE:  You have been provided with a razor blade, a piece of
  gauze, and a bottle of Scotch.  Remove your appendix.  Do not
  suture until your work has been inspected.  You have 15 minutes.

+ PUBLIC SPEAKING:  2,600 riot-crazed aborigines are storming the
  building.  Calm them.  You may use any ancient language except
  Greek or Latin.

+ MUSIC:  Write a piano concerto.  Orchestrate and perform it with
  flute and drum.  You will find a piano under your seat.

+ PSYCHOLOGY:  Based on your knowledge of their works, evaluate the
  emotional stability, degree of adjustment, and repressed frustrations
  of the following:  Alexander of Aphrodistias, Ramses II, Gregory of
  Micea, and Hammurabi.  Support your evaluation with quotes from
  each man's works, making appropriate references.  It is not necessary
  to translate.

+ SOCIOLOGY:  Estimate the sociological problems that might accompany
  the end of the world.  Construct an experiment to test your
  theories.

+ ENGINEERING:  The disassembled parts of a high-powered rifle have
  been placed in a box on your desk.  You will also find an instruction
  manual, printed in Swahili.  In ten minutes, a hungry Bengal tiger
  will be admitted to the room.  Take whatever action you feel appropriate.
  Be prepared to justify your action.

+ POLITICAL SCIENCE:  There is a red telephone on your desk beside
  you.  Start World War III.  Report at length on its socio-political
  effects, if any.

+ PHILOSOPHY:  Sketch the development of human thought;  estimate its
  significance.  Compare with the development of any other kind of
  thought.

+ GENERAL KNOWLEDGE:  Describe in detail.  Be objective and specific.

+ EXTRA CREDIT:  Define the Universe.  Give three examples.






	Yep, it's almost that time,
	John (Frustration is wondering where the other 349 people
	      in your lecture are taking *their* final) Opalko