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From: spaf@gatech.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.jokes,net.singles
Subject: Re: m/f/h/v? - (nf)
Message-ID: <2122@gatech.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 13-Nov-83 17:20:29 EST
Article-I.D.: gatech.2122
Posted: Sun Nov 13 17:20:29 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 14-Nov-83 09:20:48 EST
References: <666@ihuxi.UUCP>
Organization: Georgia Tech School of ICS, Atlanta
Lines: 33

B. Walsh asks if Vegans have gender.  The answer is definitely "yes."
Gender is a differentiation amongst the various roles needed in sexual
reproduction within a species...or lack of roles in the case of asexual
reproduction.  Thus, lack of sex in reproduction implies a single
gender and a distinct lack of excitement on weekends, as you will no
doubt discover on any date with a Xerox machine.

If we examine the four major genders of which you earthlings are aware
(male sex, female sex, insects, and religious sects) it is difficult to
note the roles played by each in the reproductive cycle.  This also
doesn't take into account the activities of individuals like Catherine
the Great, Larry Flynt, and members of Congress.

Vegans recognize approximately 73,241 genders (as of last count).  At
puberty, each young hatchling undergoes the "maturity ritual" whereby
they choose a name, and a gender is registered.  This is accomplished
through a rather complicated ritual involving 2 Neptunians, a toaster
oven, a catcher's mitt, an Emperor penguin, 3 pine cones and a
bilingual moose.  This is roughly equivalent to a Bar Mitzveh, but with
considerably more trauma to the moose.  Once the ceremony is through
and we have established our identity, we spend the next few hundred
years attempting to determine just what the "opposite sex" really is,
and then find a date for the annual office party.  Until that time,
most of us either settle for the moose or the catcher's mitt, although
a few deviants have been seen consorting with used car salesmen.

I hope this helps clear up the matter.

-- 
Off the Wall of Gene Spafford
School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
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