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Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site rayssd.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!harpo!eagle!allegra!rayssd!sgm
From: sgm@rayssd.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: 2 computer jokes -- offensive to no one except computers!
Message-ID: <269@rayssd.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Nov-83 13:06:13 EST
Article-I.D.: rayssd.269
Posted: Mon Nov 14 13:06:13 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 15-Nov-83 23:31:34 EST
Organization: Raytheon Co., Portsmouth RI
Lines: 26

A computer salesman visits a company president for the purpose of selling
the president one of the latest talking computers.
Salesman: "This machine knows everything. I can ask it any quesstion
	   and it'll give the correct answer.
	   Computer, what is the speed of light?"
Computer: 186,000 miles per second.
Salesman: "Who is the greatest homerun hitter in Major League history?"
Computer: Henry Aaron.
Salesman: "Who was the first president of the United States?"
Computer: George Washington.
President: "I'm still not convinced. Let me ask a question.
	    Where is my father?"
Computer: Your father is deep-sea fishing in the Atlantic Ocean.
President: "Hah. The computer is wrong. My father died over twenty years ago!"
Computer: Your mother's husband died 22 years ago. Your father just
	  landed a twelve pound bass.
-----
Scientists were preparing an experiment to ask the ultimate question.
They had worked for months gathering one each of every computer that was
built. Finally the big day was at hand. All the computers were linked
together. They asked the question, "Is there a God?".
Lights started blinking, flashing and blinking some more.
Suddenly, there was a loud crash, and a bolt of lightning came down
from the sky, struck the computers, and welded all the connections
permanently together. "There is now", came the reply.
-----