Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site orion.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxl!houxm!hogpc!houca!orion!len
From: len@orion.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Itinerary for a hunting trip
Message-ID: <301@orion.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 30-Nov-83 08:56:15 EST
Article-I.D.: orion.301
Posted: Wed Nov 30 08:56:15 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 1-Dec-83 23:32:29 EST
Organization: ABI - ED&D, Holmdel, NJ
Lines: 49


1:00am		Alarm clock rings
2:00		Hunting partner arrives, drags you out of bed
2:30		Throw everything except kitchen sink into pickup truck
3:00		Leave for deep woods
3:15		Drive back home to pick up gun
4:00		Set up camp, forgot the damn tent
4:30		Head for the woods
6:05		See eight deer
6:06		Take aim and squeeze trigger
6:07		CLICK
6:08		Load gun while watching deer go over hill
8:00		Head back to camp
9:00		Still looking for camp
10:00		Realize that you don't know where camp is
NOON		Fire gun for help, eat wild berries
12:15pm		Run out of bullets, eight deer come back
12:20		Strange feeling in stomach
12:30		Realize you ate poison berries
12:45		Rescued
12:55		Rushed to hospital to have stomach pumped
3:00		Arrive back at camp
3:30		Leave camp to kill deer
4:00		Return to camp for bullets
4:01		Load gun, leave camp again
5:00		Empty gun on squirrel that is bugging you
6:00		Arrive at camp, see deer grazing
6:01		Load gun
6:02		Fire gun
6:03		One dead pickup truck
6:05		Hunting partner arrives in camp dragging deer
6:06		Repress desire to shoot hunting partner
6:07		Fall into fire
6:10		Change clothes, throw burned ones in fire
6:15		Take pickup, leave hunting partner and his deer in camp
6:25		Pickup boils over, hole shot in block
6:26		Start walking
6:30		Stumble and fall, drop gun in the mud
6:35		Meet BEAR
6:36		Take aim
6:37		Fire gun, blow up barrel plugged with mud
6:38		Make mental note to change pants
6:39		Climb tree
9:00		Bear leaves, wrap *$#%!(@) gun around tree
MIDNIGHT	Head for home
Sunday		Watch football game on TV while slowly tearing
		hunting license into small pieces, place in
		envelope.  Mail to Fish and Game Department with
		detailed instruction on where to place it.