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From: pc@hplabsb.UUCP (Patricia Collins)
Newsgroups: net.kids
Subject: bonding
Message-ID: <1956@hplabsb.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Nov-83 17:43:38 EST
Article-I.D.: hplabsb.1956
Posted: Tue Nov 15 17:43:38 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 18-Nov-83 00:07:02 EST
Organization: Hewlett Packard Labs, Palo Alto CA
Lines: 45


	We planned an Alternative Birthing Center (in hospital) birth for
our son, but when it came time to push, the OB decided we should
move to a traditional delivery room.  This meant (because of DUMB
hospital regulations) that we could not spend a few quiet hours
with our son in the ABC room.  We were shuttled off to the OB Recovery
room.  I clutched my new son, shielding his eyes from the bright 
lights and loud sounds.  In Recovery, I was encouraged to eat (labor
had been ridiculously long).  So, my husband took our son and began
to talk quietly to him, but mostly just to make eye contact and
do a little gently massage.  One nurse even came in and snapped a
Polaroid (with flash)!  After a 20 hour labor, I was in no condition
to be all that assertive, but when they suggested that they take
our son away so that I could get some rest, I spoke up.  In fact,
I nursed Adam in the Recovery Room.

	Adam roomed with me in the hospital, 24-hours a day.  I
became tuned into him IMMEDIATELY.  Once we were home, I kept him 
close by (he slept a lot).  

	Adam is now eight months old.  I don't doubt that I would
love him every bit as much if we hadn't had that initial bonding
time, however, I would be missing some magical memories.  I believe
that the reassurances my husband and I were able to give to Adam
as he entered this bright, noisy world helped him to make the 
transition.

	BTW, I believe that the bonding experience takes place long
before birth.  I hummed tunes to Adam which seemed to calm him in 
utero.  I often gently massaged him, an activity he now enjoys.  I
learned how to "hear" Adam by his movements.

	And finally, my "bonding" has continued during the past
eight months.  My husband has found less time/inclination to learn
to listen to our son.  As a result (I believe), Adam is very
responsive with me, happy and relaxed.  While he enjoys playing 
with his father, he cries MUCH more with him and is not as relaxed.

	I don't think there is a single moment for bonding.  It
must be ongoing and its never too late to start...if you can open
your heart.

						Patricia Collins
						hplabs