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From: tommyo@ihuxw.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: A parallel discussion: net.abby
Message-ID: <562@ihuxw.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 4-Nov-83 14:39:17 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxw.562
Posted: Fri Nov  4 14:39:17 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 7-Nov-83 21:47:28 EST
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, Il
Lines: 48

After reading through most of the article, I just want to
add a few comments.  When I found out the girl I was seeing
was getting what I wasn`t giving, I broke it off cold right
then and there.  I`ve been used a few times before, and
wasn`t going to put up with it or give her a chance to
talk herself out of her position.  I had heard enough of
details to know she wasn`t worth it.  I saw her a few months
later at my sister`s wedding, and it was like she had never
done anything wrong.  I put a lot of trust in her, and when
she showed that she didn`t value that at all, it was time
to hit the road, Jack.  It was VERY difficult for me to handle.
I`d lost all respect for women in general for a while there,
before I met someone that restored my confidence.  If
put in the same position again, I`d cut things off the same
way.

Sorry, but I don`t believe the "If you love, let it go, and
if it comes back it`s yours" line, because that is what it
is - a line, an excuse to try again even if things were so
rotten before.  My above-mentioned ex-friend tried that one
on me the night of the break, and it didn`t work.  He didn`t
come back to her `cause it was really love.  He came back for
the sex.  I`ve never seen the line truly be true, hence the
skepticism.

But life goes on, you meet new people, and you learn from
your past hurts and heartaches.  Each person is new to you,
and you have to give them a chance to know you, and not think
"Well, the last person I saw was (fill in with any lousy character
trait), so this one probably will be too".  Granted, it could
happen ( contrary to the popular saying, lightning CAN strike
twice in the same place ), but hopefully you can more
readily identify the things that you don`t like or don`t want
to see in someone earlier in a relationship and not let yourself
get caught in the same spider web you just broke free from.
In other words, see the conditions ahead, and don`t walk
into them when you know you shouldn`t.
Life is a continual learning process, and we must see each
instance in relation to our previous experiences and determine
what course we wish to take.  Life isn`t one long flat road,
there are bumps and potholes all over the place.  We must
learn to perceive these problems before we go too far down
the road and have to get our transmission replaced or our
wheels re-aligned and pay a pretty penny in sorrow and tears.

Going on with a positive mental outlook on the future,

Tom O`Connor