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From: walsh@ihuxi.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Finances in a marriage (on net.singles?)
Message-ID: <660@ihuxi.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 10-Nov-83 07:23:08 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxi.660
Posted: Thu Nov 10 07:23:08 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 12-Nov-83 00:59:14 EST
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Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, Il
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Re: to split or not to split your incomes,

Many studies have reported that money is a number one sore spot in marriage.
By each spouse controlling his/her own money, many arguments can be avoided.
If I want a new car, I buy it. If my spouse wants something else, fine.
Things that are for the benefit of both can be split 50-50 (eg., a down
payment on a house). I've done this and found that it works great, and there
is no feeling of a 'lack of sharing' or that it means we're only together
temporarily. The reason for doing it is not because of the assumption that
there will be a break-up some day, but just because it seems fair and it
avoids a lot of friction. I've seen too many couples who pool everything
and one ends up giving in to the other constantly on what to buy (though
that is probably not a good relationship to begin with). The only time
splitting money gets to be a problem is when the incomes are vastly 
different. In that case, I'd probably live on the larger and use the 
smaller for savings/purchases; that would mean the end of splitting money.
Same in the case of children if one spouse quit work. 
I just think that having separate money is better for each person's self
respect. No one has to 'ask' the other if he/she can buy something.

B. Walsh