Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site houxi.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!floyd!clyde!ihnp4!houxm!houxi!hammy
From: hammy@houxi.UUCP (P.HAMILTON)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: The Enquirer
Message-ID: <197@houxi.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 14-Nov-83 12:20:14 EST
Article-I.D.: houxi.197
Posted: Mon Nov 14 12:20:14 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 15-Nov-83 07:43:06 EST
Organization: Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 35

In my best valley girl imitation... "Oh, my (raise voice one octave) GOD!"
Somebody out in netland reads The Enquirer, and would actually post some
of that so-called magazines disinformation.  Surely it was done in jest.
Yes, it probably was, but don't call me Shirley (a la AIRPLANE)!

Reading The Enquirer must be great fun, unless of course you happen
to be the subject of one of its feature stories.  Citing the Enk, as
in the Enks a Dink a Doo, could be even more enjoyable.  Some examples
from ..!smu!leff's recent net.singles article:

-THE HAPPIEST PEOPLE ARE MARRIED, WITH NO CHILDREN, IN THEIR LATE 20'S.
But the Enk didn't mention that these people were really happy because
they had just lost mega-pounds on the most recent AMAZING NEW DIET that
the Enk featured, AND that the respondent was also having a secret love
affair with Loni Anderson or Tom Sellick that made them SSSSOOOOOOOO happy.

-THE UNHAPPIEST ARE MARRIED WITH CHILDREN.
Again, the Enk didn't mention that they were actually unhappy because
their first-borne child was actually fathered by Elvis Presly and they
could not collect money from his Blue Suede Estate.

-70% OF THE PARENTS WOULDN'T HAVE HAD KIDS.
Yes, instead, they would rather have spent their time flying throughout
the galaxy in a UFO,.... in search of.....  a clue to the dissapearence
of arthritis in the Bermuda Trinagle.


Geeee, I'm glad that once in awhile I get to read the NYT. It must be
at least a step above The Enquirer, I think.  Now if only someone would
send me a subscription for one of those Marxist-revolutionary magazines,
then I would know... the reeeaalllll story.

                        Good Day,
                        Pat "Paul Harvey" Hamilton
                        (HO 2K-434, x0280, !houxi!hammy)