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Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!grkermit!masscomp!clyde!akgua!emory!gatech!spaf
From: spaf@gatech.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: A parallel discussion: net.abby - (nf)
Message-ID: <2145@gatech.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 15-Nov-83 08:39:05 EST
Article-I.D.: gatech.2145
Posted: Tue Nov 15 08:39:05 1983
Date-Received: Wed, 16-Nov-83 04:34:46 EST
References: <3829@uiucdcs.UUCP>, <143@wbux5.UUCP>
Organization: Georgia Tech School of ICS, Atlanta
Lines: 37

I pretty much agree with Laurie (...wbux5!lat, the article this is following
up), but I'd like to add a bit more.

If someone feels that they they need their "freedom" from a relationship,
then they don't have a very good view of the relationship in the first
place.  A mature individual in a healthy relationship should realize that
the relationship gives you more room to grow and "be" than being out
of such a relationship -- being "set free" would actually be a loss.

Letting go is painful and traumatic.  At least, it has been for me the
few times I've had to get over someone I cared about.  I would never
hold it against someone that they needed time or space to grow up, but
it is very difficult sometimes to forgive them if they were a real ass
about leaving in the first place.  There is a matter of pride involved,
or maybe just self-respect, when you decide that you shouldn't put
yourself through more garbage based on the hope that someone will grow
up and come back.

There are a few people I love very much, and sometimes I even miss
them.  But I doubt I'd want to associate with them if they "came back"
after being "set free," especially if they indicated they decided I was
the best they could do.  Relationships aren't clothes which can be
selected off of racks and tried on one after another -- there are
hearts involved. And sometimes when you see what else they've decided
to check out....

I guess the line that implies it all is, "Freedom's just a name for
nothing else to lose."

Odd.  I've often enjoyed responsibility more than freedom.


-- 
Off the Wall of Gene Spafford
School of ICS, Georgia Tech, Atlanta GA 30332
CSNet:	Spaf @ GATech		ARPA:	Spaf.GATech @ CSNet-Relay
uucp:	...!{akgua,allegra,rlgvax,sb1,unmvax,ulysses,ut-sally}!gatech!spaf