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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!dcdwest!sdcsvax!sdccs6!ix454
From: ix454@sdccs6.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Re: Later lovers
Message-ID: <1209@sdccs6.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 21-Nov-83 08:40:28 EST
Article-I.D.: sdccs6.1209
Posted: Mon Nov 21 08:40:28 1983
Date-Received: Wed, 23-Nov-83 10:27:59 EST
References: <3940@uiucdcs.UUCP>
Organization: U.C. San Diego
Lines: 25

I find, in general, I am very embarrassed and definitely want to be elsewhere
when I see one of my lover's ex-lovers.  She is good friends with her first 
lover in particular, and he used to come over to our apartment (on campus)
frequently to pass the time between classes.

I always left the room (or just left), when he was over.  I have no idea how
to handle this situation; I just get upset and angry, and wish he would not
be around.  In addition, to make matters worse, he started going out with one
of our room-mates, so he was always around, or they (my girlfriend and our 
room-mate) were always talking about him (comparing notes?).

I suppose it is jealously mostly that leads me to act this way.  Of course,
knowing that, and knowing how stupid jealousy really is doesn't help ease the
pain.  I have even requested to my girlfriend that she no longer see or talk
to/about her previous lovers, but this is difficult, and not really fair to 
her.

The problem does not exist in the opposite direction since I have had no 
previous lovers.

Anyone have any positive suggestions on handling this problem?

-- 
  Allyn Fratkin
  U.C. San Diego