Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1exp 11/4/83; site ihuxl.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!grkermit!masscomp!clyde!ihnp4!ihuxl!no5db
From: no5db@ihuxl.UUCP (Lance Ogasawara)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: re: singles vs. marrieds
Message-ID: <770@ihuxl.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 28-Nov-83 19:50:57 EST
Article-I.D.: ihuxl.770
Posted: Mon Nov 28 19:50:57 1983
Date-Received: Wed, 30-Nov-83 02:26:42 EST
References: <311@cbdkc1.UUCP> <661@qubix.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Labs, Naperville, Il
Lines: 74

**********************************************************************

Singles doing better in personal relationships? I think you need to have
a different set of married friends, or stop fooling yourself with the
image the media presents. The kind of people you describe (I can only
fathom that they are the ones you are familiar with) must be looking
more for immediate satisfaction rather than lasting satisfaction.

That's why I'm glad I have the kind of married friends I do, for whom
love is an attitude, not just an emotion. When dislikes occur, their
love for each other makes them *want* to work it out, and in so doing,
the love grows stronger yet.

I have seen the singles that go after one relationship and then another.
I doubt there is any remembrance of a relationship 10 years later.

Larry Bickford, ihnp4!decwrl!qubix!lab

**************************************************************

FLAME ON!!!

I cannot believe what Larry is implying in his article! Does he think all
singles are sex starved maniacs only engaging in one night stands? Does he
believe that all marriages are "matches made in heaven"? If so maybe he is
the one that needs to meet some new married people. I don't know about other 
singles out there but I sure look for a lot more than "immediate satisfaction"
in my relationships.

Granted, it takes a tremendous amount of effort to make a marriage work,
but doesn't it take equally as much effort for a single to make a new
relationship work? Being single and dating more than one person (either at a
time or over a period of time), you learn to deal with different types of
people and relationships. I think that this is at least as difficult as
trying to make a marriage work, and I find it much more rewarding.

At the current time in my life, I cannot really imagine spending the rest
of my life with one person. As far as I am concerned this is not because
of my inability to form a lasting relationship but because I constantly like
to meet new people and form new relationships. Every girl I have dated has
helped me grow as a person. Forming a new relationship is just the most
fantastic thing I can imagine. Getting to know a person, sharing part of
that persons life, and sharing your life with someone else is incredible.
I could go through it a million times with a million different people and
still want to do it again.

As for singles not forming lasting relationships, you've got to be kidding.
I've had five serious relationships and I am very close to all five except one.
I consider one of my ex-girlfriends to be my best friend and probably the
person closest to me in the world. She lives about 150 miles away from
me, we see each other about once every one or two months and we talk at
least once a month. When I go to see her I stay at her apartment and when
she comes to visit me she stays at my home. The relationship is completely
platonic but I believe that we are as close as almost any married couple and
I believe that we always will be.

I recently spent four days with one of my other ex-lovers. She moved from
Illinois to Arizona over a year ago and we are still extremely close. I
flew to Arizona and we met near the Grand Canyon, spent a day there, spent
another day at a smaller canyon then spent a day at her home in Tuscon. 
Along the way we stayed in two different hotels, not to mention the night
at her place. This relationship is also completely platonic and while
I am not as close to this girl as the first one I mentioned I think we
still have a rather lasting relationship.

As for my other two exs I don't see them as often but I do stay in touch
with them and I do consider them close friends (the feeling is mutual).

I could ramble on some more but hopefully I've made my point. Normally I
don't submit articles of this length but I took Larrys article rather
personally. Sorry if I bored anyone.

					Anxiously Awaiting responses,
					Lance