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From: llf@houxz.UUCP (L.FENG)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: all sorts of comments
Message-ID: <602@houxz.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 29-Nov-83 11:35:09 EST
Article-I.D.: houxz.602
Posted: Tue Nov 29 11:35:09 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 1-Dec-83 02:12:08 EST
Organization: Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 71

I don't think Larry's article was all THAT exclusive.  (But, Larry, it
still hurts.)  His experiences with married couples are good ones, and 
not so good with single people.  There are good marriages and bad ones. 
So?  There are good relationships and bad ones between singles too.  And
then there are the good ones that have bad moments and the bad ones 
that have good moments.  Who's to say?  There are a lot of good people 
of both kinds out there.

I will agree with Lance, being single is great.  I enjoy it, and plan 
on staying single for a while.  I don't think I "date".  I think I have
fun.  I don't know that I can say that I "grow" from being involved in
relationships, but certainly, I've changed over the years.  I can't even
say that I want to have a lot of relationships, they just seem to happen.
It's not something I (dissect, precipitate, or) analyze.

I've a lot of good friends (both genders), and we get together to
do things that everyone enjoys.  The biggest problem I seem to have is
finding times that everyone has free so that we can get together to do 
things.  Does anyone have a solution to that?  Or cooking for one?  And
keeping things organized when you are out every evening and weekends too?
If you really want to get down to it, these are also singles issues.

flame
------
I tend to think that if you are actively (desperately?!) "searching" for
a MOTAS, then there must be something "wrong".  What's wrong with friends?
Why does every girl/boy you meet have to have "potential"?  Someone was
telling me I should be careful making friends because I don't want to hang
out with people that are "unsuitable" or don't have "potential".  And
everytime I meet a new guy, they ask "so, is this a possibility?"  Arghh!
NO!  None of them are "possibilities", they are friends.  If a feeling of
excessive affection develops, fine.  If they are just someone to bum around 
with, fine!  So what?

You want to meet MOTOS?  The best way to go about it is to go out and make
friends.  Marshall made a very good point when he said that the best foundation
for a relationship is a solid friendship.  Looking for a "mate" is not like
panning for gold, you don't go out and inspect all the rocks you can find.
As far as I can tell, those are the relationships that DON'T last.  And a
meat market is only a meat market if you think it is. 

Getting around the age problem also starts with being friends.  Friends don't
look at you and say "gee, she/he's ten years older than me, I can't talk to
her/him!"  In fact, with friends, age hardly makes a difference at all (esp
when you get past about 18~21 and experiences etc even out).  Heck, my folks
are ten years apart, and they get along fine, have for YEARS.

(opps, didn't mean to flame so hard)
-------------

Well.  I also have to agree that it is more pleasant to be in control of a
situation.  I tend to be the one to initiate as well as end relationships 
that I get involved in.  I guess I suffer from what you might call double
standards.  I like being treated like a "lady" (chairs and doors and 
what-not), but I also like turn-about.  I almost always split expenses
with my friends (so I don't "owe" them anything), male or female.

Chuckle, my folks have been inviting all sorts of "eligibles" to our house
(can you guess why?!).  But I have them convinced that I'd rather go visiting
than have "him" come visiting.  I've much more control of the situation that
way.  I really do think it takes a lot of self confidence to be on the
receiving end, I know I don't.  And guys being not being "conditioned" to
accept it, may be more bothered by it than gals.

BTW, guys,
What's going thru your mind when you pay for someone else?  Or do you not
even think about it?

I seem to be agreeing with a lot of things today, guess it's time to go in
for a tune up!
Lynda Feng