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Path: utzoo!watmath!jamcmullan
From: jamcmullan@watmath.UUCP (Judy McMullan)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: pro-posals and dis-posals
Message-ID: <6238@watmath.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 2-Dec-83 11:32:03 EST
Article-I.D.: watmath.6238
Posted: Fri Dec  2 11:32:03 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 3-Dec-83 00:56:25 EST
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 30

	>ARE YOU CRAZY??!! The one asked out has the situation out of his/her
	>control?? More like the other way around: the ask-er pro-poses, and
	>the ask-ee dis-poses. I ask you, who has more power in the situation?

Well, I have been on both sides of the fence and there are a lot of
difficulties with each side.

Waiting to be asked out can be very painful and humiliating -- especially
if you AREN'T asked out!! On the other hand, being asked for a date
by someone whom you don't like puts you in a difficult situation,
if you have any empathy at all. It is never easy to turn
someone down without making them feel rather rejected (because,
obviously, they are being rejected!). Even worse is being asked
on a "romantic" date with someone whom you like but not "that way".
Then you fell REALLY awful turning them down. (no flames about giving
the poor guy chance, please, I have done it both ways and sometimes
I KNOW it would be a bad idea and sometimes I DO give it a chance).

I have also been in the position of asking someone out and I had a
nervous stomach and did things like dial 6 numbers and then lose my
nerve and hang up and then stare at the phone and try again, etc!
It was awful!! And when you are rejected you feel REJECTED!

I guess what I am trying to say is that it is pointless to argue about
which is worse. I do agree that women should ask men out sometimes,
and I would like it if men who are asked out don't make the woman
feel like some kind of freak for doing it.

   --Judy McMullan
   ...!{allegra|decvax}!watmath!jamcmullan