Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!grkermit!masscomp!clyde!floyd!harpo!seismo!rochester!ritcv!ccieng5!jbf
From: jbf@ccieng5.UUCP (just being friendly)
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: flame for The Lady
Message-ID: <205@ccieng5.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 10-Dec-83 00:15:00 EST
Article-I.D.: ccieng5.205
Posted: Sat Dec 10 00:15:00 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 13-Dec-83 05:51:23 EST
Lines: 30

OK, Arwen-Baby, hold on to your rags!

    Your taste in music is so low that it could be used as an artificial
sweetener.  Anyone who invites people to flame at them must be really sick,
sort of masochistic at heart.  Really asking for it!

    No doubt you wear purple shoes with yellow socks -- or at least ONE
yellow sock.  Never could get them matched, could you, dumbbell.  If
Aragorn could see you he would probably lose his cookies to the dark things
that gibber in the shadows.  Furthermore, your nose is too long.  Or maybe
your face is just too short.

    You should probably learn to eat with knife and fork the way regular
people do; the constant surgical incisions to stuff your tummy with whatever
unappetizing snips you find delectable leave too many stains on the
tablecloth -- and green stains on the tablecloth are unappetizing.

    Your ethnic group will probably be the butt of jokes for centuries to
come.  Your name is plagiarized -- you should have chosen something like
Brombrofoo.  You should change your clothing at least once a season.

Disgustedly yours,

Reed Fire
[Note: this flame was entirely gratuitous.  It is not intended to seriously
reflect on Arwen's character, looks, or tastes, since I have no idea what they
are.  I suspect this is not the flame she yearned for, but a little bit of
flame is better than no flame, even a bad flame is better than no flame, any
kind of flame is better than no flame at all (apologies to whoever writes
Lynn Anderson's songs)]