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From: moriarty@uw-june (Jeff Meyer)
Newsgroups: net.flame,net.jokes
Subject: A Tom Lehrer Christmas Carol
Message-ID: <821@uw-june>
Date: Wed, 14-Dec-83 05:18:08 EST
Article-I.D.: uw-june.821
Posted: Wed Dec 14 05:18:08 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 16-Dec-83 01:28:20 EST
Organization: U. Washington, Computer Sci
Lines: 58

After a tedious day of shopping at the local Plexi-Mall, I found myself in
agreement with a certain Tom Lehrer song from days past.  Since it has not
been posted in the network yet this season, here it is in it's cynical glory.
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An old Christmas Classic by Tom Lehrer
  (Please take into account for Mr. Lehrer's rolling speech patterns)


Christmas time is here, by Golly;
Disapproval would be folly;
Deck the halls with hunks of holly;
Fill the cup and don't say when...

Kill the turkeys, ducks and chickens;
Mix the punch, drag out the Dickens;
Even though the prospect sickens,
Brother, here we go again.


On Christmas day, you can't get sore;
Your fellow man you must adore;
There's time to rob him all the more
the other three hundred and six-ty four...

Relations sparing no expense'll
Send some useless old utensil
Or a matching pen and pencil
"Just the thing I need... how nice."

It doesn't matter how sincere
It is, nor how heartfelt the spirit;
Sentiment will not endear it;
What's important is... the price.


Hark The Herald-Tribune Sings,
Advertising Wondrous Things.....

God Rest Ye Merry Merchants,
May You Make The Yuletide Pay....

Angels We Have Heard On High,
Tell Us To Go Out And BUY....


Sooooo...

Let the raucous sleighbells jingle;
Hail our dear old friend, Kris Kringle,
Driving his reindeer across the sky,
Don't stand underneath when they fly by!
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				-jwm-

	{...decvax}!tektronix!uw-beaver!uw-june!moriarty