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From: presley@mhuxj.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.flame
Subject: National Enquirer Predictions for 1983
Message-ID: <1178@mhuxj.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Dec-83 01:27:15 EST
Article-I.D.: mhuxj.1178
Posted: Fri Dec 30 01:27:15 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Dec-83 01:01:03 EST
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 92

I know I'm a few days early, but here are some highlights from the January 4,
1983 issue of the National Enquirer, America's answer to Pravda.

Ten leading psychics let us know in advance what we experienced this past
year.  If you didn't hear about some of the events which happened, it's
probably because the main stream newspapers and the government censored the
news :-).  (Anyone for net.paranormal?)

[Dorothy Allison]
	Breakthrough ahead for America's economy.
	Unemployed to be <5M.
	Terrorists hijack Concorde jet and force it to land in Sahara.
	Russian doctors find a drug to cure intestinal cancer.
	Hurricanes devastate Florida coast, Gulf of Mexico and western seaboard.
[Shawn Robbins]
	UFOs buzz Camp David while Reagan is there -- forcing him to announce
	  officially that they exist.
	Jimmy Carter announces he'll run again for President.
	Earthquake devastates San Francisco in the summer.
	Two jumbo jets will collide in West Germany.
	John Lennon's son Julian will form a band called the New Beatles.
	A "Bigfoot" will be seen and photographed by newsmen covering the
	  discovery of a Oregon gold strike.
[John Catchings]
	High-ranking Kremlin official assassinated on trip to Poland.
	Squadrons of UFOs trigger panic in cities along East Coast.
	New drug from powdered mushrooms cures insomnia.
[Kebrina Kinkade]
	Princess Diana will give birth to another boy.
[Lou Wright]
	Prince Rainier abdicates and goes to live with a woman in Paris.
	Tatum O'Neal quits show business and becomes a nun.
[Fredrick Davies]
	Argentine death squad tries to assassinate Margaret Thatcher.
	A Princess Diana doll will be one of the hottest toys in X'mas.
[Clarisa Bernhardt]
	Oil and gas fields discovered near Flagstaff, AZ.
	Richard Simmons will be shot.
[Bill O'Hara]
	Prince Albert of Monaco weds Caroline Kennedy.
	Frank Sinatra suffers nervous breakdown and retires to S. Pacific island.
	Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton remarry.
	Ted Kennedy marries Angie Dickinson
[Irene Hughes]
	Khomeini assassinated.
	Queen Elizabeth abdicates.

--- in case you've plowed this far, here are some predictions for the second
    half of 1983, as told in a July issue.

[Dorothy Allison]
	A new energy source will revolutionize the US auto industry.
	Alan Alda stars in an intergalactic version of M*A*S*H.
[Bill O'Hara]
	Angie Dickinson and Burt Bacharach remarry. [Does Teddy Kennedy know?]
	Congress legalizes marijuana, but taxes it heavily.
	Sonny and Cher reunite as a singing team.
	Richard Simmons will balloon to 250 pounds after eating binge.
[Shawn Robbins]
	A great white shark terrorizes New Jersey coast.
	Blue aliens abduct prominent Ohio doctor for a week.
[Barbara Donchess]
	Tatum O'Neal elopes with a rock star.  [And then becomes a nun?]
[Irene Hughes]
	Utah scientiest implant first artificial liver.
	Castro toppled.
	Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldrin blows the lid off a government UFO
	  cover-up.
[Fredrick Davies]
	Assassination attempt on Thatcher.  [At least he stuck to his first story].
	Richard Pryor becomes special ambassador to African states.
[Clarisa Bernhardt]
	George Wallace becomes governor of Alabama, which carries him to
 	  the White House in 1984.
	A new messiah will emerge in El Salvador.
[Florence Vaty]
	Israel and the Arab nations settle their differences.  Peace reigns.
[Mickie Dahne]
	Doctors in California discover a chemical in a tiny African insect
	  that destroys brain cancers and leukemia.
	Joan Collins will be dropped from "Dynasty" after posing nude in Playboy.
[John Catchings]
	Reagan announces he's not running again.
	Frank Sinatra and Princess Grace team up to star in a hit TV series.
	  Sinatra plays Prince Rainier.
	Michael Landon weds teenage actress.
	A well-known Western senator will resign in a sex-and-drugs scandal.

Well, there you go, folks.  It's been a really exciting year.
--

Joe Presley (mhuxj!presley, ihnp4!j.presley)