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Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!wivax!apollo!alan
From: alan@apollo.UUCP (Alan Lehotsky)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Rebuttal to "Women and Cucumbers"
Message-ID: <203@apollo.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 14-Dec-83 13:46:44 EST
Article-I.D.: apollo.203
Posted: Wed Dec 14 13:46:44 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Dec-83 03:32:56 EST
Organization: Apollo Computer, Chelmsford, Mass.
Lines: 62

This came over DIGITAL's internal net about 2 yrs ago (the same time that
I first saw the cucumber article).

N.B. The opinions of the submittor do not necessarily match those
    of the author, so please send all flames to either NET.JOKES.D or
    net.bestiality.
*********************************************************************
Sheep are better than women because:

The average sheep is at least two feet tall.
Sheep have amazing stamina.
Sheep never suffer from headaches.
Sheep are easy to pick up.
You can fondle a sheep in a field... and you can find
    out how willing it is before you take it home.
Sheep can get away any weekend.
A sheep will always respect you in the morning.
A sheep won't ask: am I the first?
Sheep don't care if you're a virgin.  Sheep won't tell
    anyone you're not a virgin anymore.
With sheep you don't have to be a virgin more than once.
Every sheep is clothed in pure virgin wool.
Sheep don't have any sex hang-ups.
You can have as many sheep as you can handle.
You only eat mutton when you feel like it.
Sheep never need a round of applause.
Sheep won't want you to ask:
    ... How was it?
    ... Did you come? How many times?
A sheep won't mind hiding in the closet when you mother comes over.
A sheep will never make a scene because there are other sheep in
    the closet.
No matter how old you are, you can always get another sheep.
A sheep will never give you a hickey.
Sheep can stay up all night... and you won't have to sleep on the
    wet spot.
Sheep won't leave you wondering for a month.  (Unless you are a ram.)
Sheep sometimes prefer group (flock) sex.
Sheep won't tell you a vasectomy will ruin it for them.
A sheep never forgets to flush the toilet.
Sheep don't have cold feet.
Sheep don't compare you to Burt Reynolds or Mick Jagger or ...
Sheep don't tell you they liked you better with a beard.
A sheep will never leave you for
    ... another man   [[ Obviously the author doesn't watch Woody Allen
                         movies ]]
    ... another woman
    ... a horse
You always know where your sheep has been.  (if you keep them penned)
Sheep don't have mid-life crises.
Sheep don't play the guitar and try to find themselves.
A sheep won't tell you she's outgrown you intellectually
If you have trouble keeping your sheep in line, you can use a border
    collie.  They are fun too.
Sheep never expect you to take care of little sheep.
It's easy to drop a sheep
Sheep are warm and fuzzy in bed, even when they get wet.

Now you know how much fun ewe can be....