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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!harpo!floyd!clyde!akgua!gatech!mark
From: mark@gatech.UUCP (Mark Johnson)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: The Bricklayer Explains His Accident
Message-ID: <2880@gatech.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Dec-83 15:46:06 EST
Article-I.D.: gatech.2880
Posted: Fri Dec 16 15:46:06 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Dec-83 08:02:01 EST
Organization: Georgia Tech School of ICS, Atlanta
Lines: 63


   This  letter was supposedly written by a client to his insurance
company. 
   Here goes:


  "Gentlemen:
  "I am writing in response to your request for additional information
concerning my accident. In block 3 of the accident form please note I
put "poor planning" as the cause; I trust the following details will be
sufficient.

   "I am a bricklayer, and on the day of the accident I was working
alone on the roof of a new 10-story building. When I completed my work,
I discovered that I had about 500 pounds of bricks left over. Rather
than carry the bricks down by hand I decided to lower them in a barrel
with a pulley which was attached to the side of the building on the
top floor.

   "Having secured the rope at ground level I went back to the 10th
floor and swung the barrel over the side and loaded the brick into it.
Then I went back to ground level and untied the rope, holding it
tightly to ensure a slow descent of the 500 pounds of bricks. You will
note in block 11 of the accident report that I weigh 135 pounds.

   "Due to the surprise at my being jerked off the ground so suddenly,
I lost my presence of mind and forgot to let go of the rope. Needless
to say, I proceeded at a rather rapid rate up the side of the building.

   "In the vicinity of the fifth floor, I met the barrel coming down.
This explains the broken collarbone. Slowed only slightly, I continued
my rapid ascent, not stopping until the fingers of my roght hand were
two knuckles deep into the pulley. Fortunately, by this time I had
regained my presence of mind and was able to hold tightly to the rope
in spite of tremendous pain. At approximately the same time, however,
the barrel of bricks hit the ground, breaking the bottom out of the 
barrel. Devoid of the weight of the bricks, the barrel now weighed
approximately 50 pounds.

   "I refer you again to my weight in section 11 of the accident report.
As you might imagine, I began a rapid descent down the side of the
building. Again in the vicinity of the fifth floor I met the barrel,
this time coming up. This accounts for the two fractured legs and the
lacerations of the lower part of my body. The second encounter with the
barrel slowed me enough to lesson my injuries when I fell into the
pile of bricks on the ground and fortunately only three vertebrae
were cracked.

   "I am sorry to report, however, that as I lay there  on the bricks,
in pain, unable to stand, and watching the empty barrel 10 stories
above me, I once again lost my presence of mind and let go of the rope.
That resulted in the additional injuries listed on the accident report.

   "I trust this explains why I have not come into your office to 
complete a detailed report as you requested in your letter.

   "Very truly yours..."

________________________________________________________________________

Mark Johnson

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