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From: by@hp-pcd.UUCP (Bill Yoder)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: New G&S Lyrics - (nf)
Message-ID: <2929@hp-pcd.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Dec-83 03:36:36 EST
Article-I.D.: hp-pcd.2929
Posted: Fri Dec 16 03:36:36 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 20-Dec-83 01:49:01 EST
Sender: netnews@hp-pcd.UUCP
Organization: Hewlett-Packard, Corvallis OR
Lines: 86

#N:hp-pcd:5500053:000:2264
hp-pcd!by    Dec 15 13:11:00 1983


            	Here are some new lyrics to an old "HMS Pinafore"
                tune.  Mike Mohrman, PCD Product Support, wrote 'em,
                and I like 'em.     Bill Yoder

			       SUCCESS

	       (With Apologies to Gilbert and Sullivan)

Solo:		When I was a lad I served a term
		As batch job runner for a software firm
		I backed up the systems and I cardpunched files
		And I sorted all the output into nice neat piles.

Chorus:		He sorted all the output into nice neat piles!

Solo:		I sorted all the output so carefully
		That now I am a manager in R&D!

Chorus:		He sorted all the output so carefully
		That now he is a manager in R&D!


Solo:		As batch job runner I made such a hit
		They gave me a cubicle in which to sit
		I maintained RJE from dumps of Core
		And I wrote all the fixes up in FORTRAN IV.

Chorus:		He wrote all the fixes up in FORTRAN IV!

Solo:		I coded FORTRAN so earnestly
		That now I am a manager in R&D!

Chorus:		He coded FORTRAN so earnestly
		That now he is a manager in R&D!


Solo:		My FORTRAN coding earned such esteem
		That soon I was advanced to lead a software team
		I made up flowcharts and I put them on the wall
		And I hardly wrote a single line of code at all.

Chorus:		He hardly wrote a single line of code at all!

Solo:		I coded so little they rewarded me
		By making me a manager in R&D!

Chorus:		He coded so little they rewarded he
		By making him a manager in R&D!


Solo:		My software team was so well lead
		That soon I was promoted to a section head
		I kept my people working night and day
		And I never spent a minute on software QA.

Chorus:		He never spent a minute on software QA!

Solo:		My QA strategy was clear to see
		And now I am a manager in R&D!

Chorus:		His QA strategy was clear to see
		And now he is a manager in R&D!


Solo:		So hackers all, wherever you may be,
		If you want to rise to the top of the tree
		You must always harken unto marketing's call
		And never put your software through QA at all.

Chorus:		Never put your software through QA at all!

Solo:		Write in FORTRAN or in LISP
		And never code in C
		And you all could be managers in R&D!

Chorus:		Write in FORTRAN or in LISP
		And never code in C
		And you all could be managers in R&D!


				    (Exeunt.)