Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site fortune.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxl!ihnp4!fortune!hess
From: hess@fortune.UUCP (Marty Hess)
Newsgroups: net.jokes
Subject: Re: Homemade Jokes (There's a NAME for these things!)
Message-ID: <2071@fortune.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 27-Dec-83 01:10:25 EST
Article-I.D.: fortune.2071
Posted: Tue Dec 27 01:10:25 1983
Date-Received: Thu, 22-Dec-83 01:12:45 EST
References: <2726@gatech.UUCP>, <2267@rabbit.UUCP>
Organization: Fortune Systems, Redwood City, CA
Lines: 64

--

First, there's a name for these long, punly 'story' joke with an play-on-
words moral: Fractured Fairy Tales .  (No Rocky & Bulwinkle didn't have the
copyright!)
Second, I've got a million of 'em, but I've spared the NET from the horrors
of having to deal with truly the lowest form of 'humor'.  (I've been told
to "Go away, will you?" after relating one of my BEST FFTs!)
Third, here's one:

	A young and up-coming baseball player (named Bill) was picked-up
by his home-town team, the Bluebirds.  After his first day of practice he
headed into the locker room with his new teammates.  Upon arriving inside,
however, he was shocked to find a bear (yes the big, furry animal) standing
in a corner of the main part of the room.  As he turned to run from the place,
with a look of total terror on his face, his teammates broke into laughter.
"Pretty scary, huh kid?", said Tom, one of his new-found friends on the team.
"It's dead. Stuffed. Don't worry."
	"Man that thing scared five years off my life.  What's it doin' here
anyway?", says Bill.
	"You never heard the story, eh?  Figgers you bein' as young as you
are.  Well, back about 20 years ago the Bluebirds were tied in the league
with the Tomcats and were havin' a play-off series.  At the time the
Tomcats had the best darn pitcher in the league, mebby the best there's
every been, Mel Faemmy.  We was playin' the last game of the series, it was
tied, three games all, away at the Tomcat's stadium.  The place was packed,
Mel was pitchin', and what a game he was pitchin'!  It was the ninth
inning, and Mel had a no-hitter goin' on us. We was only down 1-0 tho,
'cause them 'cats couldn't get their bats talkin'.  We start our ups, and
Mel's doin' it to us again, 1-2 strike-outs on the first two up.  Well,
just then a bunch 'o them 'cats come runnin' out 'o their bench, all yellin'
and screamin', and right behind 'em comes a-runnin' that bear!  Mel just froze
in place right there on the mound!  Well, with everyone else runnin' away,
the bear heads for the mound, right up to Mel(!), and starts sniffin' at his
sweatin' face!  Then he gets back on his haunches and roars a mighty roar
over Mels' head, and Mel collapses to the ground!  Then the people from the
zoo where the bear escaped came in, and the bear was so spooked that they
had to shoot it (awww).  Mel came to as they hauled the bear away, and the
game went on, with Mel turnin' down his coach askin' if he's awright.
(After all he's got a NO-HITTER GOIN'!!)  So up goes our next batter.  Well,
Mel's so flustered he sends him right to first with four straight balls.
And the same for the NEXT TWO BATTERS! THE BASES ARE LOADED!  The coach
comes out, but Mel glares him back into the dugout.  He wanted that no-hitter.
Then the next batter's up, and Mel's doin' a bit better, a couple strikes,
at least, before he WALKS IN A RUN!  Mel's steamin' on the mound now.  The
game's tied, no one dared go near him for fear 'o gettin killed.  The next
batter's up.  Mel gets him to a full count, feelin' and lookin' a lot better.
Then he winds up, and shoots one to the plate. A BALL!!  Another run walks
in, and we END UP WINNING THE GAME, AND THE SERIES!!
	Now there's a story you can tell your grandkids (when you get 'em)!"
	Bill is amazed.  "So this is the bear then, huh?"
	"Yep.", Tom says, "That's the BEAR THAT MADE MEL FAEMMY WALK US."

(GGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGRRRRRRRRRRRRROOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNN!!!!!!)
Hey! I think you all asked for it!


--
	MDH	(EAI sideways, sort-of)

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