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From: dyer@wivax.UUCP (Stephen Dyer)
Newsgroups: net.motss
Subject: posted for "Felix" on platonic relationships
Message-ID: <19048@wivax.UUCP>
Date: Sun, 18-Dec-83 19:39:49 EST
Article-I.D.: wivax.19048
Posted: Sun Dec 18 19:39:49 1983
Date-Received: Tue, 20-Dec-83 02:11:47 EST
Organization: Wang Institute, Tyngsboro, Ma.  01879
Lines: 27

I believe that there can be close friendships that are completely
platonic.  I have had at least one very close friendship that was.  With
the particular person I am thinking of, it never occurs to me to have or
add a sexual aspect to our friendship.  When we first met, he was very
nervous about any kind of physical contact, almost neurotic about it.  I
found many things in him to like that had no physical component.  We
have known each other for several years and only recently will we even
hug.  (Even macho men hug...)  My friend and I care about each other
very much.  We are friends who's caring can be called love!
Interestingly I have difficulty saying the phrase "I love you" to him
because in my mind it has a sexual component that I don't see in our
relationship.

	I have friends that I love.  I have friends that I am sexually
attracted to.  I am sexually attracted to certain strangers.  Often the
sexual chemistry makes me get up the courage to meet the strangers I am
attracted to and make them my friends.  Sex is a big motivator, but not
the only one.

	I have sometimes mistaken acquaintances that I am sexually
attracted to for friends.  This is known as "not knowing who my friends
are".  It has had the effect that in situations that try friendships,
these acquaintances dissappear leaving me doubly hurting.  But, it is a
fast and ruthless teacher of the difference between lust and friendship.

	Nice to see conversation re-starting,
	"Felix"