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Path: utzoo!linus!philabs!seismo!hao!woods
From: woods@hao.UUCP (Greg Woods)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: all sorts of comments
Message-ID: <753@hao.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 12-Dec-83 01:13:07 EST
Article-I.D.: hao.753
Posted: Mon Dec 12 01:13:07 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 9-Dec-83 00:41:20 EST
References: <1350@sdccsu3.UUCP>
Organization: High Altitude Obs./NCAR, Boulder CO
Lines: 45


   Lady Arwen says friendship is the best basis on which to build a 
relationship. In principle, I agree, but in practice the phrase "we're
friends" is usually a euphemism for "I'm not romantically interested in
you". It has been my experience that if the relationship progresses to a
close friendship stage, and sex/romance has still not entered into it, it 
never will. I know that many men, right or wrong, believe this. Perhaps this
accounts for the "early" pressure for sex which is more typical (I admit there
are exceptions, so no flames please) of males than females.
   Arwen also says that if you are truly friends with someone, you will enjoy 
all the time you spend together even if you wish there were more to the 
relationship. Again I agree in principle, but in practice such relationships
are very frustrating when one of the parties involved does not have sexual
satisfaction elsewhere. It is clear to me that Arwen (no need to pick on her;
the same could apply to denelcor!neal and many others who have sent me mail
recently) does not really know what it is like to be sexually frustrated and/or
lonely over a long period of time. This sort of remark is *typical* of those who
are not really single, i.e. have at least a good part of their emotional/sexual
needs satisfied by one person that they can usually depend on to be there when
they need them, and it is exactly what prompted my original article (What Is 
Single). In my lifetime, there has only been one woman that I have been
romantically interested in that I have maintained a decent friendship with,
and I can't be 100% sure that it isn't because I still see a faint glimmer of 
hope for something romantic (her current situation appears somewhat unstable to
me).  Yes, I do sincerely enjoy the time I spend with this person. In fact, I 
see her quite often, and we really *do* have a nice friendship. One advantage 
of such a friendship, ironically enough, is that such "friends" are a prime 
source of meeting *other* women, and anyone knows that the more you meet, the 
better are the chances of starting the kind of relationship you really want.
  Oh, and to some of you flamers that sent me mail: you really missed the
boat. I don't want your sympathy (or the put-downs from those who thought
that was what I wanted), nor do I want advice on how to find a woman. Part
of my problem is that I try too hard, so I don't want to even look right now,
I want to accept the fact that I am MOTOS-less, and am likely to be so for some
time, and learn to *enjoy* it. In the process, I hope to actually *increase* my
chances of finding what I really want in the long run. I welcome any suggestions
or comments on that, but if you aren't single (and haven't been recently), 
please don't flame me because I believe you don't know what you are talking 
about.

		    GREG

-- 
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       		        !hao!woods