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Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!harpo!eagle!mhuxl!houxm!houxz!llf
From: llf@houxz.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: one-sided relationships?
Message-ID: <616@houxz.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 7-Dec-83 10:40:13 EST
Article-I.D.: houxz.616
Posted: Wed Dec  7 10:40:13 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 9-Dec-83 03:28:47 EST
Organization: Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 45

I don't mean to single any one person out, but Greg has made some
interesting questions and statements.
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>It has been my experience that if the relationship progresses to a
>close friendship stage, and sex/romance has still not entered into it, it 
>never will. I know that many men, right or wrong, believe this. 

This is interesting.  I believe that Greg is right in stating
that many men believe this.  I don't, but I'm a woman.  What do the other
women on the net think?  And are there any solutions to this problem?
Personal experiences?
-----------
On the subject of one sided relationships, Greg says that
>in practice such relationships are very frustrating when one of the 
>parties involved does not have sexual satisfaction elsewhere. 

Perhaps men are more physically oriented?  I don't think that this is as
much a problem for women (at least those women who I know well).  There,
the desire is more for emotional satisfaction.  I do know that most of my
friends (both sexes) have not considered physical closeness (of any kind) 
a major source of frustration in either a one sided romance or in being 
"single".
--------------
I do agree that it sounds like Arwen (or myself) "does not really know
what it is like to be sexually frustrated and/or lonely over a long 
period of time."  But I would disagree with the reasoning behind it.  I
find that the reason I don't feel frustrated/lonely (most of the time) is
that I LIKE myself, and I like being with myself.  I get a great deal of 
satisfaction and encouragement and contentment from me.  (and I think
three years between SO's qualifies me to say that)

I've met a lot of guys that try too hard.  Most of them are pretty depressing
to be around.  Not that they are not nice people.  But in general, they are
the ones who don't observe others.  They don't notice that they are making
you uncomfortable with all their trying, or they don't notice that in trying
to interest you, they are boring you to death.  Or they feel insecure about
themselves and cover by acting like hot shot know it alls.  I think the best
thing to do is to relax.  Hang out with people that you feel relaxed with,
in situations that you feel relaxed in.  That is the only way to get to know
someone the way they really are, and for them to get to know you.  I still
believe that running into SO's should mostly be a "by-product" of making
and being with friends.  (not to say that you shouldn't initiate things, just
don't do it when/where you feel unnatural)

LyndaF