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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!ittvax!anderson
From: anderson@ittvax.UUCP (Scott Anderson)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Rape (anywhere, not just Ontario)
Message-ID: <1156@ittvax.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 7-Dec-83 10:43:56 EST
Article-I.D.: ittvax.1156
Posted: Wed Dec  7 10:43:56 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 9-Dec-83 06:47:56 EST
Lines: 73

This is in response to Laura Creighton's (utzoo!utcsstat!laura)
submission to net.singles, net.legal, & net.women about rape.
To use her own words (not necessarily against her):

	Personally, I think that rape is assault. I would like it to
	not have a separate classification. this perpetuates the idea
	that sex is something either dirty or mysterious, or otherwise
	very different from the rest of life. But then i do not find
	the idea that somebody raped someone else any different than
	the idea that someone beat up somebody else, or otherwise
	attacked them.

Certainly, rape is not a crime of passion or sex, but merely violence.
However, I think that most people feel that sex is very special, that
is associated only with feelings of love and caring.  Rape shreds all
those associations, which then has profound psychological
implications.  The physical damage in a rape may be less than in an
assault and battery (then again, maybe not; I've read about some pretty
awful rapes), but it is far less important that the mental torment the
woman goes through.  One can be reminded of an assault everytime one
walks down a dark alley, but a rape victim may be reminded of a rape
every time she makes love.  What a rotten time to remember such abuse!
To take something beautiful and positive, and to make it ugly and
negative:  that's how rape is different from assault.

Furthermore, people can UNDERSTAND a beating.  We grow up with being
hit, whether by parents or the bully down the street.  We've also hit
other people, in rage or in fear or simply to take away a toy.  It's
no fun to be hit, but the action is familiar and understandable to
some extent.  Rape is not; it's totally incomprehensible, I think, to
anyone but a rapist.  I can imagine myself hitting someone; I can
even imagine myself killing someone; rape, never.

Laura also mentioned some boys/men she has corresponded with.  A further
excerpt from her article:

	They were shy male virgins who wanted to stop being shy male
	virgins.  . . .  So I wrote to them. But it occurred to me at
	the time that had I been so inclined I could have driven to
	wherever they were and offered to take away the virginity. I
	bet that I would have been accepted every time. . . .  I'm
	5'4", after all -- it would be hard to conceive of me raping
	anyone. But suppose I was 6'5" and male... the thought makes me
	shudder.

Luv that first line!  Anyhow, unless Laura contradicts me, I'll confess
to having been one of her shy mail virgins, and I'll tell you right now
that I would NOT have accepted you Laura; sorry.  There's a BIG
difference between making love and having sex.  I was much more
concerned with finding someone to love who loves me in return than I
was with losing my virginity.  (For $100, I could have lost the
virginity anytime; I also know a number of loose women.) The difference
is quite relevant to this rape discussion:  There is a lot more to sex
(and hence, rape) than the physiology, while a beating is just a beating.

My last sentence doesn't deal with either rape or assault by a husband or
other loved one.  Those issues are very sticky and I don't know how to deal
with them.

	So I have a few questions. First of all, do you think that rape
	and assault should be considered separate offenses? if so why?
	And for you guys out there -- do you worry about getting
	charged with rape? If you do, what do you do about it?

Yes, rape should be separate and much more nastily punished.  I don't
worry about getting charged with rape.  I'd never make love to a
woman (1) without knowing she'd never so charge me, and (2) without
being able to demonstrate that this was a long-term, stable relationship
and not a one-night stand.  At the very least, I'd have to go under the
"rape by husbands and other lovers" laws.  Yuck.

Scott D. Anderson
decvax!ittvax!anderson