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From: ciaraldi@rochester.UUCP (Mike Ciaraldi)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: a commentary
Message-ID: <4099@rochester.UUCP>
Date: Wed, 7-Dec-83 17:22:48 EST
Article-I.D.: rocheste.4099
Posted: Wed Dec  7 17:22:48 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 9-Dec-83 07:57:19 EST
References: <2245@rabbit.UUCP>
Organization: U. of Rochester, CS Dept.
Lines: 61


I originally was going to send this just as a "reply",
but I think the net might get a kick out of it,
so let me relate an experience from my youth,
in fact when I was 16 and 17. I am now 31.

I met a young woman on the plane back from Michigan State, where
we had both gone for a scholarship exam. She lived about 20 miles
away, so we spent the next several months as pen pals, becoming
fairly close. When we finally got together in person
(maybe 3 or 4 times in the next year), we always had a good time.
But we never got beyond the hand-holding and light kissing
stage, since we were both rather inexperienced, and it seemed
we were progressing at a good enough speed.
After we both went to college, she came to visit me one week
(just before Christmas 1969). She told me about her new boyfriend.
After that, the corresondence tapered off.

A few months ago she passed through town and got my phone number.
After thinking (agonizing) about it for several weeks (so i later found out)
she called me. The result is that I went to visit her over
Thanksgiving, and we really hit it off, becoming very close
very quickly. She had been thinking of relocating back to
Rochester, and if this happens we will most likely restart the 
relationship. 

I doubt that most people will have this experience of getting back
together with someone after 14 years, but it makes a nice story.
The most amazing thing is that we each seemed to match the
other's image of what we would be like after 14 years apart.

This actually ties in with two discussions on the net lately:
1) how do you meet a MOTAS? I met her in the waiting room
   of the airport, and we decided to sit together.
2) How do I feel about women asking me out?  If she
   had not called I would never have known where she was,
   since I had lost track years before and even her parents
   had moved away. After all, I had essentially written her
   off years before as a romantic prospect, and then the
   friendship had petered out. Of course, I still had fond
   memories.

A few other comments. When we met some of her friends, one of the
other women said, "Now, is THIS the one you spent all those
weeks wondering if you should call?" (very subtle person there,
what if I weren't?). When I kidded her about it later, my friend
said, "I figured the worst thing that could happen was I
would call and your wife would answer the phone." To which
I replied, "It could have been my male lover..."

The other funny thing that happened was that when she picked me up
in the train station, we spent the first few minutes talking
about really trivial things, rather nervously and hesitantly.
We finally figured out what it was--we both felt like
it was our first date again!  (Instead of our fifth or so, in 15 years).

Maybe this will be an inspiration to someone....


Mike Ciaraldi
ciaraldi@rochester