Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site pyuxvv.UUCP Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!grkermit!masscomp!clyde!ihnp4!cbosgd!cbdkc1!pyuxmm!pyuxnn!pyuxi!pyuxvv!brt From: brt@pyuxvv.UUCP (B Reytblat) Newsgroups: net.singles Subject: MoRe: friends-first-(nf) Message-ID: <187@pyuxvv.UUCP> Date: Fri, 9-Dec-83 22:03:47 EST Article-I.D.: pyuxvv.187 Posted: Fri Dec 9 22:03:47 1983 Date-Received: Sun, 11-Dec-83 00:41:21 EST Organization: Bell Labs, Piscataway Lines: 38 * * On the subject of being a friend first: This summer I had an opportunity to start a friendship-to-maybe-grow. I did not . Reason : I've been there before . On two occasions . I have been able to handle my own (unreturned) feelings well . What I have not been able handle is being a dependable and non-demanding friend (4-18 mo) and having the feet knocked from under me(figuratively) by some so-and-so waltzing in without bothering with any of this friend-first-lover-later nonsense . In neither case did I suffer frustration or any of the other symptoms previously discussed (UI U-C is chock full of young ladies interested in haiving casual fun). On the other hand , of the five women I have dated seriously since then , I am very close with two ( see one of 'em every other day and the second one every week or so ), and very good friends with two more. Me thinks the operative words above are "dependable" and "non-demanding". Me thinks they oft are equated with : boring pushover(I was) doesn't-need-to-be-appreciated- will-stick-around-anyway. ************************************************************************ Misc. other ramblings: A quote from a recent conversation with a friend: "First , I'd let prove ?self to be a nice person , only then will I open up to that person" ( sex of the quotee disguised to protect the innocent ). This seems to be fairly common . 8-( And so it goes.... B.Reytblat ...!pyuxvv!brt (201)-981-2044 (office)