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From: mokhtar@ubc-visi
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: shyness and love
Message-ID: <563@ubc-visi.UUCP>
Date: Tue, 13-Dec-83 21:29:23 EST
Article-I.D.: ubc-visi.563
Posted: Tue Dec 13 21:29:23 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Dec-83 01:13:33 EST
Lines: 40


          
    i am a newcomer to net.singles so i apologize now for saying anything
 that may not belong in here, but i will do my best.
         
    i am a shy man. i used to be a very shy man. recently a woman made a
 remark on this newgroup about "some men specially shy ones who try too
 hard". i find this statement contradictory. in fact i don't think such
 men are shy at all. for me, the task of approaching even one friendly-
 looking woman used to be a `very hard` thing to do, let alone trying 
 'too hard'. i don't believe she knows what shy is.
          
    i don't need any tips on how to meet people, i want no sympathy and
 i am NOT bitter about it.
    not bitter because i was accepted by a very gentle, caring woman who
 made me very comfortable despite being shy (to my great surprise). she
 is six years older than me, she has a baby( i am not the father ), we
 have been seperated for 1.5 years now, we live thousands of miles apart
 from each other and i love her more than my life and if you think that
 is strange, i should add that i am proud because i am young and i think
 i and she have achieved together something that most people never do all
 their lives and that is strong and lasting love which only grows with
 time.
            
    i want to make a remark about what a librarian said on this newsgroup.
 if i am not mistaken, the purpose of making rules about how many times
 or how long a man should talk to you before asking you out is ti show
 that he cares (perhaps there are other things too but i am assuming that
 being caring is one of the important ones). i think you are unfair to 
 shy men because you are practically "filtering" them out. there is no
 single 'test' to 'show' that he cares. if you believe that not ALL women
 care, is it not important to sometimes show that you care? After all, it
 is possible that a man who talks to you twice and hesitates the third
 time cares more than the one who keeps coming back.
           
    i am not trying to say that all shy is good. to me, being fair is
 important. social roles don't guarantee fairness.
                                                     -- farzin
 P.S. i welcome all criticisms and comments and replies and questions.