Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site houxz.UUCP
Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!grkermit!masscomp!clyde!ihnp4!houxm!houxz!llf
From: llf@houxz.UUCP (L.FENG)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: trying too hard
Message-ID: <622@houxz.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 15-Dec-83 14:59:37 EST
Article-I.D.: houxz.622
Posted: Thu Dec 15 14:59:37 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 17-Dec-83 01:23:20 EST
Organization: Bell Labs, Holmdel NJ
Lines: 44

Exactly!  That period of silence is, in part, sheer confusion.  Especially
if you ask it on the way out the door.  A partial solution is to  pick a 
few places you would be interested in going, and then drop them in his
"lap" by saying "These are the things that I think might be fun to do
tonight, is there one which you would like to do also?  Or is there 
something else you'd like to do?"  This gives the poor guy a chance to see
what you can afford to do, what you are interested in doing, what kind of
a mood you are in, and how much you can afford/are willing to spend.

Especially, don't drop the bomb on them if they are visiting.  I HATE it
when you are visiting someplace strange/new and your host says "okay,
what would you like to do/where would you like to go?"   Argh, I'm not even 
sure I could find my way to the nearest gas station much less think of a 
place to go!
------------
Other ways of generally trying too hard:

Showing them all of your rock collection in the hope of drumming up some
interest, which you are worried there might not be.

Trying to impress them (even subconsiously) by .... driving a bigger/sportier
car, going to fancy resturants. Or talking big, not admiting that you don't know
the answer to something, interrupting people in order to show you know.
Trying to dominate the conversation.

Rushing to do all the chivalrous things.  (Admitedly, I like them, but only
when they come naturally.)  Like opening doors, pulling out chairs, etc.
Or expecting all the chivalrous things to be done for you.

Trying to be apart from the group of people you are "with" (if you go out in
groups of friends).

Trying to single one person out of a group to be extra "nice/whatever" to,
trying to attract attention to that someone.  Standing up for their "rights"
when they don't even care.

Acting the clown to cover up your shyness.
------------------

> or something unreasonably cheap, and you'll think other strange things.

What kinds of strange things did you have in mind?  That's always
one I wondered about.  Anyone else?  :-)