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Path: utzoo!linus!security!genrad!decvax!tektronix!azure!eugenez
From: eugenez@azure.UUCP (Eugene Zinter)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Relationships and Later Lovers
Message-ID: <2454@azure.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 16-Dec-83 13:09:27 EST
Article-I.D.: azure.2454
Posted: Fri Dec 16 13:09:27 1983
Date-Received: Sun, 18-Dec-83 06:08:32 EST
Organization: Tektronix, Beaverton OR
Lines: 59

Subject: Relationships and Later Lovers 
In comment to:

azure!tektronix!uw-beaver!cornell!vax135!ariel!hou5f!hou5e!hou5d!hogpc!houxm!mhuxl!eagle!harpo!floyd!cmcl2!philabs!seismo!rochester!rocksvax!sunybcs!colonel

In my letter to net.singles I stated


<>  I have seen a lot of smooth talking SNAKES "steal" someone's girl/boy
<>  friend and  quite often  just to use  that girl/boy friend as another
<>  conquest (mainly for sexual purposes).   It usually doesn't take long
<>  for a person  to get  wise  and  dump the  SNAKE.    If  this is your
<>  situation, you should be around to help pick up the pieces.   Perhaps
<>  She  will see the REAL value in having you as a REAL friend and maybe
<>  even forming a new, much more lasting and meaningful relationship.

And your response (the above mentioned person) was:

<>  I wonder how many net.singles correspondents fall into Mr. Zinter's
<>  category of SNAKES?  I stole somebody's girlfriend three years ago.
<>  It was a lot of work, but she's worth it. "

I think  you know  better than to make a response like that.
It is obvious (to most people) what I meant by SNAKE (reread
my letter) and I am quite sure YOU knew what I meant too.

Does the rest of my letter bother you too??

There is a difference between:

"stealing" another's  girlfriend for the wrong reasons. Such as
another conquest to make (to see if you still have the "charm")
or for just sex, or for whatever reasons--- rather than wanting
to first form a truly  meaningful  relationship with that woman 
in order to have a firm base for love and everything  that goes
with it.

                         AND

a woman  realizing that the  relationship  She  has  with  you just
doesn't have everything She is  looking for that makes a meaningful
relationship  between  Her and  you.   And  so a  break up  happens
when She finds another guy who has the attributes, etc. that She is
looking for to make a more meaningful and satisfying  relationship.
Such a breaking up  may not  involve "stealing" at all---merely the
realization  that  things aren't right.   And that another has what 
you are REALLY looking for.

The  first  category  involves  SNAKES, the  second  category  involves
mature non-using PEOPLE seeking a real and meaningful relationship with
another.

I hope, even though you  believe   that you "stole" your  current
girlfriend from another, that you don't really  consider yourself
a SNAKE.  Rather it sounds, like you simply offered Her something
better  than She had---better watch out---She may have planned it
that way!

						ECZ