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From: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: rape, sex roles & 'really single'
Message-ID: <4620@decwrl.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 15-Dec-83 13:48:12 EST
Article-I.D.: decwrl.4620
Posted: Thu Dec 15 13:48:12 1983
Date-Received: Mon, 19-Dec-83 00:15:44 EST
Sender: daemon@decwrl.UUCP
Organization: DEC Western Research Lab, Los Altos, CA
Lines: 72

From: Ed Featherston  HL01-1/P06  225-5241 <roll::featherston>

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Newsgroup : net.singles
>From : STAR::MALIK
Organization : Digital Equipment Corp.
Subj: rape, sex roles & 'really single'

	<Forgive me if you you've already recieved this. I sent it
out last week, but never saw it posted or noticed any comments
on it. So, I am assuming it never made it.>

	Rape is an important issue but I don't believe it belongs
in net.singles. Please find some other place for it.

	Responses to a number of recent issues ->

	I'm somewhat surprized to see that the issue of 'women
initiating relationships' is an issue at all. Of course women
should initiate relationships. And of course men should initiate
relationships. If you like someone, talk to them!

	If you have doubts about this, ask yourself the following
question - '*WHY* should only men do the initiating?' Can you
think of a single, rational reason why both sexes shouldn't be
free to approach whomever they wish? Seriously, can you?

	I agree with the comments about making friends verses
'desperately searching'. But I'd like to add a suggestion that
I haven't seen here. Advertise the fact that you're 'looking'.
Let your friends know (your closest friends probably already
do know but consider letting others know (especially MOTOS
friends)). Friends have friends and one might turn out to be
the MOTAS of your dreams.

	As for you 'really single' people out there; If you're
'really single' and happy, then there's no problem, right? If
you feel lonely, horny or whatever, then your lifestyle may
need some changing. Sure, you can rail against the world &
how difficult/unfair it is, but the odds are that's not going
to make you feel a whole lot better (or change anything).

	So, what do you do? Painful as it may be, you will
have to consider changing your behavior. Stop hiding in the
machine room. In whatever way you can manage, try being
more social. Invite 3 or 4 people out to dinner after work/class.
Ideally, both men & women. Make some popcorn and invite people
over to watch a TV movie (or rent a VCR for the weekend). Keep
it simple & informal so that people will be more likely to
accept.

	Anything to break your routine (which obviously isn't
working) and establish pleasant social relations. Do you think 
you're no good at this? Well, how are you going to get good at 
it unless you practice? You're not going to figure out how to 
deal with people by sitting in your room thinking about it.

	Or maybe you find such simple get-togethers boring. Well,
let's be honest - sometimes, they are. But other times, you meet
new people with common interests, resources you don't have or just
plain nice people. It's worth the risk/effort to get involved.

	Good luck.
						,Karl

		Mail address : ...decvax!decwrl!rhea!star!malik

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