Relay-Version: version B 2.10 5/3/83; site utzoo.UUCP
Posting-Version: version B 2.10.1 6/24/83; site watdaisy.UUCP
Path: utzoo!watmath!watdaisy!saquigley
From: saquigley@watdaisy.UUCP (Sophie Quigley)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.women
Subject: Re: Who asks who, communication, etc.
Message-ID: <370@watdaisy.UUCP>
Date: Thu, 22-Dec-83 23:21:48 EST
Article-I.D.: watdaisy.370
Posted: Thu Dec 22 23:21:48 1983
Date-Received: Fri, 23-Dec-83 06:54:36 EST
References: <367@watdaisy.UUCP>, <144@watrose.UUCP>
Organization: U of Waterloo, Ontario
Lines: 39

Well, Dave, You were much more coherent than I was about this whole
thing.  I do agree with almost everything you've said and I wish that
more people thought about other people the same way you do.  I think
the world would be much better if we all thought of each other as 
different individuals and took the time to get to know each person we like
without any preconceptions of what that person will be like, based on what
other people are like.  Having said this does seem to nullify my previous
article, so I will try to explain what my beliefs are a bit better.

Before I go on on this topic, I would like to comment on a few little points
1- How do women handle choosing between frank or not when rejecting someone?
   I don't know about others, but I do it very badly, and I would prefer not
   to be put in that situation, but sometimes, there's no way out.  I don't
   really think there is a good answer to this, or at least if there is I
   haven't found it yet, as I change my mind about this all the time.
2- Men "leading on" women?  it never happened to me, not in a romantic/sexual
   sense anyway.  I assume you are speaking of dating situations, not situations
   where the people are already into the reltionship.  Well, I'll keep my eyes
   open.

Well, back to the original point, sexism and racism is a very touchy topic,
and this is what this is all about.  Can one assume that a person is going to
behave in a certain way because they are a member of a certain group?
I am very bothered by the whole idea because I believe that people are
individuals and have some power over their behaviour, but it seems that many
people ARE influenced by the fact that they belong to a certain group and
start behaving the way they are expected to as members of that group.  So,
when I was making my comment "men are crummy at being subtle", I was acting
in a typically sexist fashion, but I was critisising the whole idea of how
men SHOULD be and end up being, since it is much more easy to conform then
rebel.  It is very sad, but the net result is that a LOT of people conform
to the behaviour that is expected of them because of their sex/ethnic 
background, instead of thinking for themselves.  This is why it is so easy to
be sexist/racist.  I think that in the end the only way to solve these
problems will be for people to start thinking as individuals.  In the 
meantime people will continue saying such things as "women are all..",
"blacks are all ..." because they will be partly true.

FLAME ON!