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From: sdh@rabbit.UUCP (S. Hawley)
Newsgroups: net.singles
Subject: Re: Asking men out
Message-ID: <2324@rabbit.UUCP>
Date: Sat, 24-Dec-83 21:55:58 EST
Article-I.D.: rabbit.2324
Posted: Sat Dec 24 21:55:58 1983
Date-Received: Sun, 25-Dec-83 04:22:38 EST
References: <2323@rabbit.UUCP>
Organization: AT&T Bell Laboratories, Murray Hill
Lines: 23

The dilemma expressed by Nomi Harris seems to be the traditonal
paradox that have caused much trepidation in 'shy' men. This brings
us back to the question, 'who does the asking?'. From Nomi's
remark: "I don't want to ask unless I'm sure he's really interested
in me", one can see that if most men have the same view (which I
beleive is true), there are a lot of men and women who miss
potential relationships and end up as distant admirers. I think
the major problem is that the human animal is afraid of being
unsuccessful. It seems a little silly down in print, but it's
not the fear of asking that prevents one from doing so, but the
fear of a failure as a result of asking. So the next time you're
trying to convince yourself that you're too scared to ask someone
out because you're not sure of their feelings toward you, keep in
mind that you'll rarely find out by remaining aloof, and what is
life if you don't take risks?

As a final note, I'd like to add that when dealing with emotions,
there is NO general solution that will encompass the entire spectrum
of people just because of the nature of humans.

Write if you get work and hang by your thumbs.
Steve Hawley
rabbit!sdh