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From: lab@qubix.UUCP (Larry Bickford)
Newsgroups: net.singles,net.women
Subject: Re: Snakes
Message-ID: <740@qubix.UUCP>
Date: Fri, 30-Dec-83 23:36:54 EST
Article-I.D.: qubix.740
Posted: Fri Dec 30 23:36:54 1983
Date-Received: Sat, 31-Dec-83 04:23:48 EST
References: <2454@azure.UUCP>, <882@sunybcs.UUCP> <1592@utcsstat.UUCP>
Organization: Qubix Graphic Systems, Saratoga, CA
Lines: 63

A third side of the snake story: I find the reptilian kind interesting,
the human kind disgusting.

If a gal I might be interested in is currently in a steady relationship
with another guy, I would not try to steal her from him. Yes, I read the
article from a guy who did and felt it was worth it, but how much was
really considered?
1. She didn't really break up with the other guy, merely left for
greener pastures. If she's done it once, what's to stop her from doing
it again - especially to return to former pastures? (The gap from 0 to 1
is always the biggest.) Or when some guy realizes that she can be
stolen, he can appeal to her in a different way and steal her. And what
right does the first thief have to complain?
2. The guy she was stolen from becomes an enemy, and might consider
doing less-than-beneficial things to the snake or his new relationship.
And it might prove very unwise if the guy stolen from is someone with
whom the thief must later deal - like a vendor, customer, or potential
boss. Bitter tastes do not soon disappear.
3. The snake has to worry harder about keeping his gal. He is more
likely to be over-protective of her, restrict her public social life, or
be angered at her if she so much as looks at another guy twice.

When I want a lady, I want a free and clear title. That does mean I
won't compete for her with other guys, or not date her because she's
dating someone else. But if she has chosen to establish a "steady"
relationship with another guy, I will honor that relationship. Such an
attitude does have benefits:
1. It allows me to be better friends with both of them, especially since
the guy knows I'm not trying to steal her.
2. If they break up later, I still have both of them as friends.
3. If I desire a steady relationship with her, it is easier to establish.
4. In trying to establish a steady relationship, it will be in open
competition. She can compare me to more than just one person, and I have
to be worthy in more than just a few areas.
5. If I establish a steady relationship with her, I haven't given him
any reason to be angry with me.
6. If she is a one-man lady, I can more easily trust her. Conversely, it
establishes me as a one-lady man, so she can trust me. This allows more
freedom in the relationship and allows it to grow better.
7. Since there was a reason for the break-up of the previous
relationship, there is an added margin that her heart won't wander back.
8. It is easier to respect a lady in a relationship if you have
respected both her and her former beau in their previous relationship.
Further, both of them have already seen you demonstrate respect. If they
are people of character, their respect for you will increase. If she is
not a person of character, why do you want her? (Then again, snakes have
no character.) If she has character and he does not, she will recognize
it in due time; if you try to steal her, she will see you as a person of
no character.

I can read your thoughts: "How long are you gonna wait?" "What if you
see a 10+ going off with some [choose an appropriate pejorative]?" I've
had the same thoughts (and I mean some 11's and 12's going that-a-way);
yet it is well said, "[Wo]men are like war; sooner or later another one
comes along." If I had taken one earlier, I would have missed the jewel
I found earlier this year. (Ask any of my fellow employees who saw her
at Qubix's recent open house.) There's a couple of billion females in
this world (and a few million in the Bay Area), so odds are if I don't
get her, there's someone similar not too far away. I doubt I'll have to
settle for less than best; in the meantime, my character is being improved.

"Love isn't so much finding the right person as *being* the right person."
Larry Bickford, {sun,amd70,decwrl,ittvax}!qubix!lab