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Path: utzoo!linus!decvax!duke!mcnc!tim@unc.UUCP (Tim Maroney)
From: tim@unc.UUCP
Newsgroups: net.misc,net.flame
Subject: Re: Are you reading this unc!tim?
Message-ID: <6525@unc.UUCP>
Date: Mon, 9-Jan-84 16:10:47 EST
Article-I.D.: unc.6525
Posted: Mon Jan  9 16:10:47 1984
Date-Received: Tue, 10-Jan-84 05:49:25 EST
References: <1630@utcsstat.UUCP>
Organization: CS Dept., U. of N. Carolina at Chapel Hill
Lines: 44

Normally, I agree with Laura Creighton, but this latest is just too much.
Here's what Laura said (in my spiffy new indentation style):

L  Tim, are we going to get back to Wombats *again*? Don't tell me that
A  you still can axe those fuzzy soft-eyed grass eaters? Burrowing my ass,
U  they sure can't borrow all the way through from Adelaide to Chapel
R  Hill! If they can, they should be treasured since there are lots of
A  uses for such borrows which we poor humans have yet been able to use.
.  You see? Either way you lose.

Oh, come on now.  The burrowing may start in Adelaide, but where does it
end?  In Hell, no place else!  Yes, that's right, wombats are agents of
Satan.  Why else would they be so cute, except to deceive us?  And this
"grass" that they eat is sapping the strength of entire nations, once proud,
now merely drug-addled and degenerate, limp-wristed, sagging, and smelly.
Who do you think grows this stuff?  Who smuggles it to the States?  None
other than these vicious and evil earth termites, that's who!  Your
suggestion that these trans-continental burrows could be of use is
ridiculous -- how would you put a customs office on every new burrow?  This
reminds me of the use of Scripture by the Devil (don't ask me how -- I got
that line from Dave Norris, who didn't seem to know either).

Laura goes on to say:

L  but this is not the best reason for saving wombats. remember the
A  hurt and shocked expression on my face when I discovered your hatred
U  for wombats? Think of the agony that you are causing me! Reach down,
R  deep in to the bottom of your heart and find it there to love
A  wombats -- if not for yourself, then for me.

You are sending yourself to agony.  I have pointed out the proper course to
you, and you have turned your back on it.  Your bones will be gnawed in Hell
by the very wombats that you love!  I feel really sorry for you, but I guess
since you're determined to go to Hell, I can't stop you.  (And don't worry
about me -- in Heaven they pass out earphones to drown out the cries of the
damned being tormented by wombats.)

But I think that the real refutation of your position is the fact that you
have made typographical errors in your article!  That shows how much you
really know about wombats, when even a layman like myself is able to refute
what you say so easily.
--
Tim Maroney, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill
duke!unc!tim (USENET), tim.unc@csnet-relay (ARPA)